Mulliner Nights is a collection of short stories by P. G. Wodehouse. First published in the United Kingdom on 17 January 1933 by Herbert Jenkins, and in the United States on 15 February 1933 by Doubleday, Doran.McIlvaine (1990), pp. 63–64, A48. The stories in the collection were originally published in magazines in the UK and the US between 1930 and 1932.
The book is the third collection featuring Mr Mulliner, who narrates all nine stories contained in the book, telling tall tales of his diverse family.
Contents "The Smile that Wins" US: American, October 1931 UK: Strand, February 1932
See "The Smile that Wins".
"The Story of Webster" US: American, February 1932 (as "The Bishop's Cat") UK: Strand, May 1932 (as "The Bishop's Cat")
Plot Mr Mulliner says that many cats have an air of superiority, and tells a story which features a cat and Mr Mulliner's cousin Edward's son, Lancelot.
25-year-old Lancelot was orphaned at an early age and was raised by his Uncle Theodore, the saintly Dean of Bolsover. Lancelot becomes a portrait artist and takes a studio in Chelsea. The Dean disapproves and thinks Lancelot should become a curate, which leads to distance between them. Lancelot gets engaged to poet Gladys Bingley. His uncle accepts the post of Bishop of Bongo-Bongo in West Africa and sends a letter to Lancelot telling him to look after his cat Webster. Lancelot hopes that if he treats the cat well then he may be able to get enough money from his rich uncle to marry Gladys. The Dean believes that Webster is an upstanding cat and he will inspire Lancelot to become less bohemian and more respectable.
Webster, a large black cat, is very austere, and Lancelot feels pressured by Webster's judgmental gaze to act and dress according to proper etiquette. Two of Lancelot's friends become concerned and try to tell him not to give in to the cat, but it is no use. Webster does not appear to approve of Gladys, so Lancelot gets engaged to Brenda Carberry-Pirbright, who seems prim and unpleasant, to please Webster. Lancelot's friends wire Gladys Bingley, who is away in France, to come reason with Lancelot. She confronts him about his engagement to Brenda. He tells he does not want to marry Brenda but feels he must do what Webster wishes. She tells him to come see her only if he chooses her over Brenda, and leaves. Lancelot, nervous in front of Webster, drops a bottle of whisky onto the floor, and is stunned to see Webster drink it. Webster becomes genial and breaks into a dance, then turns belligerent and attacks a footstool. After seeing this spectacle, Lancelot is no longer intimidated by Webster and goes to see Gladys and reunite with her.
"Cats will be Cats" US: American, March 1932 (as "The Bishop's Folly") UK: Strand, June 1932 (as "The Bishop's Folly")
Plot A Whisky and Splash at the Angler's Rest asks Mr Mulliner what happened to Webster, the cat from the previous story, which leads to Mr Mulliner telling the following tale.
After his encounter with alcohol, Webster has completely changed into a bohemian, unsophisticated cat that freely brawls with other cats on the street. Lancelot, who is still supposed to be looking after Webster, learns that his uncle will be returning from Africa soon. Lancelot is nervous, since his uncle will notice that Webster bears obvious signs of having been in fights. However, Lancelot's uncle does not come to see Lancelot. He sends a letter saying that he is at Widdrington Manor in Hampshire, the home of the widowed Lady Widdrington and her mother, Mrs Pulteney-Banks. Lady Widdrington has a cat named Percy. Uncle Theodore disapproves of Percy, since he saw Percy getting into a fight with another cat, so does not want Webster to join him there and tells Lancelot to keep him for a little while longer. Lancelot and his fiancée Gladys now have time to reform Webster. They both want to please Lancelot's rich uncle so he will give them money to get married.
They are only able to improve Webster's appearance slightly before Lancelot is summoned to Widdrington Manor by his uncle, who wants Lancelot to pretend to be his lawyer. At the house, the Bishop explains that he pretended Lancelot was his lawyer as part of a failed attempt to get away from the house. During his voyage back to England, he got carried away in the romantic shipboard atmosphere and courted Lady Widdrington, but now wants to avoid her. Lady Widdrington and her mother are determined and counter every excuse the Bishop has to leave the house. The Bishop wants Lancelot to stay by him and prevent him from getting engaged to Lady Widdrington. He will reward Lancelot with enough money to marry Gladys. The Bishop tries to sneak out at night, but is caught by Percy and pretends he was walking in his sleep. Mrs Pulteney-Banks can tell why the Bishop wants to leave, but Lady Widdrington believes he must merely be missing his cat Webster. Webster is brought to the Bishop, and he is alarmed at the cat's toughened appearance. However, after Percy appears and gets into a fight with Webster, the Bishop cheers Webster on. Percy loses and flees. Lady Widdrington is angered by Webster and wants the Bishop to leave. The Bishop happily embraces Webster and pays Lancelot.
"The Knightly Quest of Mervyn" US: Cosmopolitan, April 1931 (as "Quest") UK: Strand, July 1931 (as "Quest")
The magazine version of the story, "Quest", features Freddie Widgeon and does not include Mr Mulliner.
Plot Someone sings a song about chivalry and knights in the room across the passage from the bar-parlour of the Angler's Rest. Mr Mulliner states that the chivalrous spirit of knights still flourishes in the Mulliners, which can be seen in the story of his cousin's son Mervyn.
Mervyn Mulliner wants to marry Clarice Mallaby. She thinks he is a chump and does not consent to marry him. Mervyn wants to prove himself and asks her to give him a quest, like the knights of old. It is December, and she has always wanted to eat strawberries in the middle of winter, so she tells Mervyn that she will reconsider his proposal of marriage if he acquires a basket of strawberries for her before the end of the month. Mervyn has a wealthy acquaintance, Oofy Prosser, who gives lavish parties with expensive food and would know how to get strawberries in December. Oofy tells Mervyn that strawberries can be bought at Bellamy's in Piccadilly, for around a pound apiece. Mervyn only has one pound, two shillings and threepence in his pocket. Mervyn's maternal uncle Joseph, Lord Blotsam, has an account at Bellamy's, so Mervyn goes there and tries to buy a basket of strawberries on his uncle's account. The woman in the shop telephones his uncle, who says he does not want to buy any strawberries. Mervyn pretends his uncle was joking and tries to take the strawberries anyway. He is quickly arrested.
Mervyn is sentenced to a ten-pound fine or fourteen days in jail. He sends a message to his uncle who sends ten pounds for the fine and orders him to Blotsam Regis in Shropshire, where he will not be able to get into trouble and embarrass his uncle further. At the house, Mervyn sees strawberries in a hothouse, which are for Lord Blotsam's upcoming Christmas party. Mervyn quickly puts some of the strawberries in a box and returns to London. He reaches London, but accidentally leaves the box of strawberries in the train. Next, he tries to borrow money from Oofy Prosser to buy strawberries for Clarice. Oofy refuses to give him any money but is interested to hear about Clarice's quest. Mervyn goes to Clarice's house in Eaton Square, hoping she will give him credit for having tried his best. A boy delivers a parcel and gives it to Mervyn, mistakenly thinking he is the butler. The package has strawberries for Clarice from Oofy, who tried to win Clarice's favour. Mervyn is annoyed with Oofy but gets an idea and calls out to Clarice that he brought her strawberries. However, by the time she reaches the room, he has absent-mindedly eaten all the strawberries. Clarice throws him out. He failed his quest, but Mr Mulliner commends his effort.
"The Voice from the Past" US: American, November 1931 UK: Strand, December 1931
Plot
A change of headmasters in the public school near the Angler's Rest leads to Mr Mulliner telling a tale about his mild and timid nephew Sacheverell Mulliner, whose shyness Mr Mulliner attributes to the intimidating headmaster Sacheverell had to deal with as a boy.
Sacheverell Mulliner, a diffident young man, is secretly engaged to the hearty Muriel Branksome, daughter of Lieutenant-Colonel Sir Redvers Branksome. Muriel Branksome was once engaged to her cousin Bernard, but broke it off because he was too bossy. Muriel invites Sacheverell to her house, Branksome Towers, but he does not get along well with her father, who talks about farming and hunting whereas Sacheverell is interested in literature and ballet. Muriel suggests that Sacheverell take a correspondence course in Scientific Agriculture so he can easily converse with Sir Redvers. Back in London, Sacheverell pays for and starts his correspondence course. After several lessons, he realizes he has been taught nothing about agriculture. He goes to the headquarters of the Leave-It-To-Us Correspondence School to complain. He makes his strongly-worded complaint to the manager, Jno B. Philbrick, who explains that the wrong course was sent to Sacheverell, and it has apparently worked, since Sacheverell actually received a course on acquiring self-confidence. Sacheverell continues taking the self-confidence course and becomes even more assertive.
Sacheverell sees Muriel in a cab with her cousin Bernard, and becomes jealous. Later, he tells Muriel not to see Bernard again. Muriel is not pleased with Sacheverell's new domineering attitude. Back at Branksome Towers, Sacheverell is upset to see that Bernard is also there. The Bishop of Bognor will also be visiting. Muriel tells Sacheverell that he will not be in the Blue Suite, which is the best guest room, and Sacheverell assumes that she has given it to Bernard. At dinner, Lieutenant-Colonel Sir Redvers initially refuses to eat spinach, but does so when Sacheverell tells him to. Muriel informs Sacheverell she will not marry him, since he has become bossy. Sacheverell thinks she has left him for Bernard, so he hides in the Blue Room to confront Bernard. However, it is actually the Bishop who comes to the room. The Bishop was Sacheverell's headmaster, the Rev. J. G. Smethurst. Sacheverell is affected by his old headmaster's voice and loses all his assertiveness. He tries to escape but accidentally goes into the suite's bathroom. The Bishop hears him and alerts Sir Redvers. They think there is a burglar and arm themselves with weapons. Sacheverell climbs out through a window and reaches Muriel's room. She sees he is afraid and helps him hide. Sacheverell is diffident again, so Muriel loves him and will marry him. He stops taking the correspondence course, and is too shy to ask for a refund.
"Open House" UK: Strand, April 1932 US: American, April 1932
Plot Mr Mulliner tells his listeners about his nephew Eustace Mulliner. Eustace is a successful employee of the British Embassy in Switzerland, though at one time he was reluctant to take the job, as Mr Mulliner explains.