"A Top Secret Washing Machine" (stylised in sentence case) is a song by English synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys that was released on 18 September 2026 through the band's own label x2 and Parlophone. The song is written as an attack against Vladimir Putin.
Background The duo had previously written songs about Putin, with their 2023 song "Living in the Past", which compared Putin to Joseph Stalin.
Composition and lyrics Tennant asks sarcastic questions about the Russian president in the song, with the main question being who washes his underwear and keeps secrets “in a top secret washing machine". The lyrics also contain lines about what happens when Putin "poisons an opponent's underpants", with Tennant wondering whether if Putin would laugh at his "brilliant scheme".
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