Coming to You () is a 2021 South Korean documentary film written and directed by Byun Gyuri. The film follows two South Korean mothers whose children come out as transgender and gay, respectively, and documents their responses, family relationships, and later involvement in LGBTQ+ advocacy. It was produced by PINKS, an influential queer feminist media group based in South Korea and distributed internationally by Film Movement.
The film won the Documentary Award and received a Special Mention in the Korean Competition at the 22nd Jeonju International Film Festival (2021), and also won the Brave New Docs Award at the DMZ International Documentary Film Festival.
Synopsis
Coming to You follows two South Korean mothers: Nabi (Eunae Jeong), a veteran firefighter and divorced single mother, and Vivian (Sunhwa Kang), a flight attendant. Nabi's child Hankyeol (they/them) comes out as transgender, telling Nabi that they want to have their breasts removed. Vivian receives a letter from her son Yejoon, in which he comes out as gay; unable to face his parents' reaction in person, he later moves to Canada to seek greater freedom and distance from social stigma surrounding LGBTQ+ identities in South Korea.
Both mothers initially struggle to comprehend the news. Director Byun stays largely behind the camera, allowing the subjects' own voices to carry the narrative as both mothers work through feelings of confusion, loss, and gradual understanding.
Over the course of the documentary — which spans several years — Nabi and Vivian move from struggling to accept their children's identities to becoming active members of Parents, Families and Allies of LGBTAIQ+ People in Korea (PFLAG Korea). The film captures milestones including medical consultations, LGBTQ+ marches, and the bureaucratic and social obstacles the families face.
Background and context
South Korea does not legally recognize same-sex marriage. The country also lacks a comprehensive anti-discrimination law protecting LGBTQ+ and sexual minorities, though a broad coalition of groups have been organizing to pass such legislation. Against this backdrop, Coming to You documents the transformation of two mothers as they move from initially uninformed parents to participants in LGBTQ+ advocacy.
Subjects
Subject Role Eunae "Nabi" Jeong Herself; mother of Hankyeol; veteran firefighter Sunhwa "Vivian" Kang Herself; mother of Yejoon; flight attendant Hankyeol Themselves; Nabi's transgender child Yejoon Himself; Vivian's gay son Insun Kwak Herself Dongryoul "Jimmy" Joung Himself Seongjun Nam Himself
Reception
Coming to You received critical attention for its portrayal of family acceptance and LGBTQ+ advocacy in South Korea. Bradley Gibson of Film Threat described the documentary as giving viewers a hard look at LGBTQ+ life in a society with narrow cultural definitions of gender and relationships, while Adriana Rosati of Asian Movie Pulse described it as an inspiring account of changing attitudes toward respect, acceptance, and happiness.
The film streamed on Netflix Korea for a limited time and has been available on Kanopy in the United States.
Awards and nominations
Year Award Category Result 2021 22nd Jeonju International Film Festival Documentary Award 2021 22nd Jeonju International Film Festival Special Mention, Korean Competition 2021 DMZ International Documentary Film Festival Brave New Docs Award
Distribution
Coming to You had its world premiere at the Jeonju International Film Festival on April 29, 2021. It subsequently screened at the Frameline46 LGBTQ+ Film Festival in San Francisco in 2022. The film was acquired for international distribution by Film Movement and released via video on demand and digital platforms on March 22, 2024. Video Librarian described the film as appropriate for LGBTQIA+ documentary, Asian Studies, and Korean culture collections.
In South Korea, the film was released theatrically across 56 screens, accumulating 19,042 admissions and a gross of US$109,545.
See also PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) LGBT rights in South Korea Korean documentary film
References
External links
Coming to You at Film Movement Coming to You at Rotten Tomatoes