Bereavement in Judaism () is shaped and governed by a combination of Jewish custom (; ), observations of figures in the Hebrew Bible, and (; ) derived therefrom in Judaism's Rabbinic literature. Chazal—the rabbis and scholars whose discussions are recorded in the Mishnah, Talmud, and Tosefta—explicate mourning Halakha in, for example, Mo'ed Katan 14b–28b, Sotah 14a:4, Berakhot 6b, and Sanhedrin 46b. The details of observance and practice vary according to each Jewish community.
Mourners In Judaism, the principal mourners are the first-degree relatives: parent, child, sibling, and spouse.Klein, Isaac, A Guide to Jewish Religious Practice, Ktav Publishing House, 1979, page 286. There are some customs that are specific to an individual mourning a parent. Religious laws concerning mourning do not apply to those under thirteen years of age, nor do they apply when the deceased individual is aged 30 days or less.
Upon receiving news of the death
Upon receiving the news of the death, the following blessing is recited:
In the Hebrew Bible, the mourning custom was to tear one's clothes the moment one heard the news of a death. The modern practice is for the close relatives who are the principal mourners to tear their clothing at the funeral.Klein, Isaac, A Guide to Jewish Religious Practice, Ktav Publishing House, 1979, page 278: ", or rending one's garment... In biblical times, it was customary to tend one's garment upon hearing sad news, especially news of the death of a dear one... The present law requires Qeri'ah only for those relatives who must observe the mourning period...For a very practical reason, however, the Qeri'ah is now due at the funeral—all mourners are present, and normally there is someone there who knows the procedure"
Terminology and timing Avel () – mourner(s) Avelut – mourning, of which there are different levels based on who is mourned and the timing post-death: – generally the day when the news is heard; before burial. A mourner in this period is known as an . Shiva – seven days, from the Hebrew word (). Begins with the burial day. Shloshim – 30 days, starting from the day of burial Shneim asar chodesh – mourning period of twelve months for a deceased parent Chevra kadisha – burial society Hesped – eulogy Qaddish – said by a mourner or by someone on behalf of a mourner Qeriah – tearing; timing varies by custom. At times deferred to the funeral chapel or at the cemetery Qvura – burial Levaya – funeral service. The word means "escort(ing)." L'Illui Nishmat – Hebrew for elevation of the soul, sometimes abbreviated LI"N Matzevah – monument or tombstone. See also Unveiling of the tombstone. Petira – passing Shemira – watching or guarding of the body until burial, to ensure it is not left unaccompanied Tahara – purification (by water) of the body Yahrzeit – Yiddish for anniversary of the (Hebrew/Jewish) date of passing
Chevra kadisha The chevra kadisha ( "sacred society") is a Jewish burial society usually consisting of volunteers, men and women, who prepare the deceased for proper Jewish burial. Their job is to ensure that the body of the deceased is shown proper respect, ritually cleansed, and shrouded. Their work is traditionally understood as an expression of chesed shel emet (Hebrew: חֶסֶד שֶׁל אֱמֶת, "true kindness"), a term used in Jewish tradition to describe acts of kindness performed for the deceased, who cannot repay or acknowledge them. Classical rabbinic sources regard care for the dead as the purest form of gemilut chasadim (acts of loving-kindness), emphasizing the dignity (kavod hamet) owed to every person in death. As part of this obligation, the chevra kadisha carries out burial preparations with discretion, simplicity, and equality, reflecting the communal responsibility to honor the deceased and support the bereaved.
Many local chevra kadishas in urban areas are affiliated with local synagogues, and they often own their own burial plots in various local cemeteries. Some Jews pay an annual token membership fee to the chevra kadisha of their choice, so that when the time comes, the society will not only attend to the body of the deceased as befits Jewish law, but will also ensure burial in a plot that it controls at an appropriate nearby Jewish cemetery.
If no gravediggers are available, then it is additionally the function of the male society members to ensure that graves are dug. In Israel, members of chevra kadishas consider it an honor not only to prepare the body for burial but also to dig the grave for a fellow Jew's body, particularly if the deceased was known to be a righteous person.
Many burial societies hold one or two annual fast days, especially the 7th day of Adar, Yartzeit of Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses), and organize regular study sessions to remain up to date with the relevant articles of Jewish law. In addition, most burial societies also support families during the shiva (traditional week of mourning) by arranging prayer services, preparing meals, and providing other services for the mourners.
Preparing the body – taharah There are three major stages to preparing the body for burial: washing (rechitzah), ritual purification (taharah), and dressing (halbashah). The term taharah is used to refer both to the overall process of burial preparation, and to the specific step of ritual purification.
Prayers and readings from Torah, including Psalms, Song of Songs, Isaiah, Ezekiel, and Zechariah are recited.
The general sequence of steps for performing taharah is as follows.
The body (guf) is uncovered (it has been covered with a sheet awaiting taharah). The body is washed carefully. Any bleeding is stopped and all blood is buried along with the deceased. The body is thoroughly cleaned of dirt, body fluids, and solids, and anything else that may be on the skin. All jewelry is removed. The beard (if present) is not shaved. The body is purified with water, either by immersion in a mikveh or by pouring a continuous stream of 9 kavim (usually 3 buckets) in a prescribed manner. The body is dried (according to most customs). The body is dressed in traditional burial clothing (tachrichim). A sash (avnet) is wrapped around the clothing and tied in the form of the Hebrew letter shin, representing Shaddai, one of the names of God. The casket (aron) (if there is one) is prepared by removing any linings or other embellishments. A winding sheet (sovev) is laid into the casket. Outside the Land of Israel, if the deceased wore a prayer shawl (tallit) during their life, one is laid in the casket for wrapping the body once it is placed therein. One of the corner fringes (tzitzit) is removed from the shawl to signify that it will no longer be used for prayer and that the person is absolved from having to keep any of the mitsvot. The body is lifted into the casket and wrapped in the prayer shawl and sheet. Soil (afar) from the Land of Israel, if available, is placed over various parts of the body and sprinkled in the casket. The casket is closed.
After the closing of the casket, the ḥevra asks forgiveness of the deceased for any inadvertent lack of honor shown to the deceased in the preparation of the body for burial.
Caskets are not used in Israel (with the exception of military and state funerals, when the casket is being carried on the shoulders of others) or in many parts of the Diaspora, especially in Eastern Europe and Arab countries. Instead, the body is carried to the grave (or guided on a gurney) wrapped in a shroud and tallit and placed directly in the earth. In the Diaspora, in general, a casket is only used if required by local law. Traditionally, caskets are simple and made of unfinished wood; both wood with a finish and metal would slow the return of the body to dust (). Strictly-observant practice avoids all metal; the wood parts of the casket are joined by wood dowels rather than nails.
There is no viewing of the body and no open casket at the funeral. Sometimes the immediate family verify the identity of the deceased and pay their final respects right before the funeral.
From death until burial, it is traditional for guards or shomrim "watchers" to stay with the deceased. It is traditional to recite Psalms (Tehillim) during this time.
Funeral service The Jewish funeral consists of a burial, also known as an interment. Cremation is forbidden. Burial is considered to allow the body to decompose naturally, therefore embalming is forbidden. Burial is intended to take place in as short an interval of time after death as possible. Displaying of the body prior to burial does not take place. Flowers are usually not found at a traditional Jewish funeral but may be seen at statesmen's or heroes' funerals in Israel.
In Israel, the Jewish funeral service usually commences at the burial ground. In the United States and Canada, the funeral service commences either at a funeral home or at the cemetery. Occasionally the service will commence at a synagogue. In the case of a prominent individual, the funeral service can begin at a synagogue or a yeshivah. If the funeral service begins at a point other than at the cemetery, the entourage accompanies the body in a procession to the cemetery. Usually the funeral ceremony is brief and includes the recitation of psalms, followed by a eulogy (hesped), and finishes with a traditional closing prayer, the El Maleh Rachamim. The funeral, the procession accompanying the body to the place of burial, and the burial, are referred to by the word levayah, meaning "escorting." Levayah also indicates "joining" and "bonding." This aspect of the meaning of levayah conveys the suggestion of a commonality among the souls of the living and the dead.
Yemenite Jews, prior to their return to the land of Israel, maintained an ancient practice during the funeral procession to halt at, at least, seven stations before the actual burial of the dead, beginning from the entrance of the house from whence the bier is taken, to the graveyard itself. This has come to be known as Ma'amad u'Moshav, (lit. "Standing and Sitting"), or "seven standings and sittings," and is mentioned in Tosefta Pesahim 2: 14–15, during which obsequies only men and boys thirteen years and older took part, but never women. At these stations, the bier is let down by the pallbearers upon the ground, and those accompanying will recite "Hatzur Tamim Pe'ulo," etc. "Ana Bakoach," etc., said in a doleful dirge-like melody, and which verses are followed by one of the party reading certain Midrashic literature and liturgical verse that speaks about death, and which are said to eulogize the deceased.Yosef Qafih, Halikhot Teiman (3rd edition), Ben-Zvi Institute: Jerusalem 1982, pp. 250–251; cf. Babylonian Talmud (Megillah 26a), the words of Rabbi Menahem, the son of Rabbi Yosi, ibid. See also Tosefta Megillah 4:14, where it states: "They do not perform [the solemn obsequies of] Ma'amad u'Moshav with less than ten persons, etc."
Keriah
The mourners traditionally make a tear (keriah or kriah, ) in an outer garment before or at the funeral.Jewish Cemetery, Burial and Mourning Customs: "Kriah" or Rending a Garment in Grief. Jewish Cemetery Association of Massachusetts (JCAM). Accessed 31 October 2020. The tearing is required to extend in length to a tefach (handbreadth),, s.v. Hilkot Avel 8:1–2 or what is equivalent to about . The tear should be on the left side (over the heart and clearly visible) for a parent, including foster parents, and on the right side for siblings (including half-brothers and half-sisters), children, and spouses (and does not need to be visible). Non-Orthodox Jews will often make the keriah in a small black ribbon that is pinned to the lapel rather than in the lapel itself. – says "The service .. begins with the cutting of a black ribbon" says – "Among Conservative and Reform Jews, a black ribbon is..."