Traumatic Livelihood is the debut studio album by English singer Jazmin Bean, released on 23 February 2024 through Aswang Birthday Cake, Interscope and Island Records. After gaining attention with their debut extended play (EP) Worldwide Torture (2019), Bean signed to Interscope and Island and began working on an early version of their debut album in 2021 but decided to scrap it and start afresh after recovering from an addiction to ketamine in mid-2022. Bean worked primarily with producer Matt Schwartz, alongside Jonny Coffer, John Feldmann, Travis Barker, Imad Royal, Ilan Rubin, Jessica Winter, and others.
Traumatic Livelihood is a pop, alternative pop, and pop rock album that departs from the electronic and heavy metal-influenced direction of Worldwide Torture in favour of a softer, more grandiose pop sound marked by orchestral arrangements, recurring use of strings, and unexpected rhythmic and stylistic shifts. Its lyrics explore Bean's past experiences and traumas, addressing topics including sexual abuse, addiction, self-loathing, identity, and relationships, whilst encompassing themes of redemption, retribution, empowerment, and healing. Accompanying the change in musical style, Bean transitioned away from the extreme makeup style of their Worldwide Torture era towards a more glamorous, spring- and summer-influenced aesthetic.
Traumatic Livelihood received acclaim from music critics, who praised its songwriting and themes. Kerrang! and Ones to Watch listed it as one of the best albums of 2024. The album spawned four singles, "Piggie", "Favourite Toy", "Terrified", and "You Know What You've Done", and was supported by a headlining tour of North America and Europe, the Traumatic Livelihood World Tour, which took place between September and October 2024. An Extended Edition of the album, featuring four acoustic songs and the single "It's Not My Fault (It's Yours)", was released on 6 September 2024.
Background In October 2019, Jazmin Bean released their debut extended play, Worldwide Torture, through their own record label, Aswang Birthday Cake. The EP garnered attention for its blend of pop and heavy metal elements and accompanying visuals showcasing Bean's extreme makeup style. After the songs "Saccharine" and "Hello Kitty" gained traction, Bean signed to Interscope and Island Records, who reissued Worldwide Torture with six bonus tracks in November 2020. By 2021, Bean had begun working on an early version of their debut album, which followed an electropop and industrial sound. They continued to release music whilst working on new songs in Los Angeles. Bean's record labels did not think the album was good, though Bean persisted and felt it was misunderstood.
Work on the album was put on hold when, with the support of Interscope and Island, Bean checked themselves into a drug rehabilitation clinic in 2022 after struggling with a four-year addiction to ketamine, stemming from their traumatic experiences of being groomed by an older man between the ages of 14 and 17. Upon leaving rehab in May of that year, Bean revisited and decided to scrap the album, as they found it stylistically disorganised and did not want their songs to be self-pitying. In a March 2024 interview with Ones to Watch, Bean said that the scrapped debut album did not represent "true evolution" and felt it was "just fine for someone who is learning to do music". In an interview with Melodic Magazine in September that same year, they said the scrapped album was "definitely in the vault" but were also open to it eventually being released in the future.
Recording and production Bean began working Traumatic Livelihood in June 2022 and would go on to record more than 200 songs for the album. They considered its writing process their "first attempt at real songwriting" and credited their newfound sobriety with improving their songwriting skills. Bean worked primarily with producer Matt Schwartz, alongside Jonny Coffer, John Feldmann, Travis Barker, Imad Royal, Ilan Rubin, Jessica Winter, and others, and recorded material at Destined, Livingston Recording, Noatune and Coffer's home studio in London, and Royal Studio in Los Angeles. Bean went into the studio with no fixed ideas to give them more room to express their emotions in their songs, writing lyrics first before working on melodies with their collaborators; they preferred to write about events they could observe from a "bird's-eye point-of-view" than those they were actively involved in, and redid anything they considered "too extreme or free-thinking". Compared to when working on their scrapped debut album, Bean was more open to collaborating with producers, which they felt helped them to grow as a songwriter; they credited their main producer with pushing them in this respect and for making the album sound cohesive. Though finding it difficult to highlight any specific musical influences on the album, Bean cited "life and living a very new fresh version of life" as Traumatic Livelihood biggest influence, alongside the "glamour" of theatre.
The first three songs written for Traumatic Livelihood were its title track, "Favourite Toy", and "Shit Show", which helped establish its direction; Bean cited the latter song as the first that made them feel "secure in the album process". "Piggie", another track written early on in production, was intended to act as a bridge between Worldwide Torture and the album but was not originally intended to appear on its track listing. They wrote the song three months after leaving rehab, after looking at pictures from their past and reflecting on the surrounding events. Bean wrote "Fish" during a period of writer's block and was initially dissatisfied with the song but later became more fond of it. Bean cited "Black Dress" and "Stockholm Butterfly" as the hardest songs to write for the album emotionally. The latter song, "Charm Bracelet", and the unreleased "Sock Puppet" were written after they attempted to pursue a legal case against their abuser, which was thrown out due to their evidence being deemed unviable for court. When deciding its track listing, Bean aimed to make Traumatic Livelihood "feel optimistic in some way and not just rotting in my pain". None of the songs Bean wrote prior to entering rehab made it onto the album; they attempted a "mashup" between their old and new songs at one point but ultimately decided that their old songs were not as good and no longer represented them as a person.
Composition Overview Traumatic Livelihood is a pop, alternative pop, and pop rock album that departs from the electronic and heavy metal-influenced direction of Worldwide Torture in favour of a softer, more grandiose pop sound marked by orchestral arrangements recurring use of strings, and unexpected rhythmic and stylistic shifts. AllMusic's Marcy Donelson categorised it as "symphonic synth rock", whilst critic Tom Hull considered it to be "a shade denser and artsier than pure pop". Going into the album, Bean wanted to break away from the genre and image they had become known for and felt that moving in a pop direction was "natural" for them; they also intended to use strings over electronics to make it sound "timeless" instead of being dated by niches. Alfie Byrne of DIY described Bean as recalling the "operatic side" of Marina Diamandis with their "deliberate intonation". Kelsey Barnes of The Line of Best Fit and Rhian Daly of The Forty-Five both described the album as contrasting "light" and "dark" with its instrumentals and lyrics, whilst Kerrang! Luke Morton stated that "despite [its] nightmarish lyrical content [...] sonically it doesn't exist in the shadows".
The lyrics of Traumatic Livelihood explore Bean's past experiences and traumas, addressing topics including sexual abuse, addiction, self-loathing, identity and relationships, whilst encompassing themes of redemption, retribution, empowerment, and healing. Bean viewed Traumatic Livelihood as a "healing album" and hoped that through displaying the feelings of shame they held over their experiences, their fans would feel less alone. They intended album's contrasting instrumentals and lyrics to prevent it from forming a "trauma bond" with their fans, as they did not want it to be listened to exclusively in sad times: "I want people to have happy memories with this album [...] Things don't need to feel melancholy all the time." The album's title, which was coined before Bean went to rehab, was intended to represent the lack of a "healing timeline" from trauma and their mindset at the time of its conception. In an interview with Unclear, they said:I wrote [Traumatic Livelihood] when I was 19 and I was starting to realise a lot of things about my life and things that have happened, and I needed to address them. I was going through a lot and it felt very tragic, but I still felt like there was always this hope and this livelihood and this excitement for life. [...] I felt like this album was honoring both—holding space for the sad, but we also need to hold space for the pushing and going forward. We can't just stay sad and down. We have to go forward and move.
Songs
Traumatic Livelihood opening title track builds up from an "oscillating and roaming" guitar lead with layered vocals and strings into a slacker rock chorus with "thrashing" guitars. Bean intended it as an affirmation of their mindset after leaving rehab and alluded to their non-binary identity with the lyric "Maybe I'll never find out if I'm a boy or a girl". "Piggie" is a "synth-pop/rock hybrid" that sees Bean call out predators and paedophiles in the music industry whilst making fun of some of the men they were in toxic relationships with. "Favourite Toy" juxtaposes an upbeat instrumental featuring arpeggiated strings and synthesisers against ostensibly nonchalant lyrics detailing Bean's experiences of being "conditioned from such a young age not to understand what love is" and feelings of negative self-worth. They said the song's "driving melody" was meant to have "an overall sense of hopefulness and catharsis" against the lyrics. "Terrified" is a 1990s-inspired ballad featuring "moody" guitars and "warm" strings over which Bean details their feelings of anxiety and safety in realising they are in an honest, loving relationship after experiencing several abusive ones. Bean wrote the song as they felt there were not many songs that presented love in an appreciative light and highlighted the lyric "The stars you breathe begin to brush my hair"—a deliberate contrast to the "Favourite Toy" lyric "I don't want my stars they are yours to keep"—as signifying a restoration of faith in others. "Is This It" is about the times Bean was unable to keep up with expectations from their online image due to addiction and disappointed others. "You Know What You've Done" is a vengeful alternative pop song targeted at people Bean felt hurt by, and was conceived as a way to purge their feelings of remorse and revenge before they could forgive them. It was misinterpreted as a breakup song by listeners upon its initial release. "Shit Show" is about Bean wanting to escape "a truly unpleasant human" they were in a relationship with who lied about their age and kept trying to contact them after it had ended. Bean felt the song best represented Traumatic Livelihood "drama". The song showcases Bean's "theatrical vocal delivery", and its chorus blends orchestral strings with "dry" drums and distorted guitar work.