Marriage in ancient Greece had less of a basis in personal relationships and more in social responsibility, however the available historical records on the subject focus exclusively on Athens or Sparta and primarily on the aristocratic class. According to these records, the goal and focus of all marriages was intended to be reproduction, making marriage an issue of public interest. Marriages were usually arranged by the parents; on occasion professional matchmakers were used. Each city was politically independent and each had its own laws concerning marriage. For the marriage to be legal, the woman's father or guardian gave permission to a suitable man who could afford to marry. Daughters were usually married to uncles or cousins. Wintertime marriages were popular due to the significance of that time to Hera, the goddess of marriage. The couple participated in a ceremony which included rituals such as veil removal, but it was the couple living together that made the marriage legal. Marriage was understood to be the official transition from childhood into adulthood for women.
Scholars are uncertain whether these traditions were common throughout the rest of Ancient Greece and for those in lower classes or if these records are unique to these regions and social classes. These records are also primarily focused during the classical period. There is also limited information available about marriage in the city of Gortyn in ancient times, in the form of the legal text the Gortyn code.
Marriage as a public interest The ancient Greek legislators considered marriage to be a matter of public interest. Marriages were intended to be monogamous. In keeping with this idea, the heroes of Homer never have more than one wife by law,Buttmann, Lexilogus, 73 though they may be depicted with living with concubines, or having sexual relationships with one or more women. In Plato's Laws, the would-be lawgiver suggests that any man who was not married by age 35 should be punished with a loss of civil rights and with financial consequences. He proposes that when choosing a wife, men should always consider the interests of the state over their own desires.
In Ancient Sparta In Ancient Sparta, the subordination of private interests and personal happiness to the good of the public was strongly encouraged by the laws of the city. One example of the legal importance of marriage can be found in the laws of Lycurgus of Sparta, which required that criminal proceedings be taken against those who married too late (graphe opsigamiou)Pollux, Onomasticon VIII.40. or unsuitably (graphe kakogamiou), as well as against confirmed bachelors,Plutarch, Life of Lycurgus 15.1. that is, against those who did not marry at all (graphe agamiou). These regulations were founded on the generally recognised principle that it was the duty of every citizen to raise up strong and healthy legitimate children to the state.Mulller, Dorians., iv. 4. § 3.
The Spartans considered teknopoiia (childbearing) as the main object of marriage. Because of this, whenever a woman had no children by her own husband, the state ought to allow her to live with another man.Xenophon. de Rep. Lac. i. 8. On the same principle, and to prevent the end of the family line, Spartan King Anaxandridas II was allowed to live with two wives. He kept two separate establishments: this was a case of bigamy, which, as HerodotusHerodotus. vi. 39, 40 observes, was not at all consistent with Spartan nor indeed with Hellenic customs. The offspring were required by the government to be strong and healthy, otherwise, the parents would leave and abandon the child.
In Ancient Athens For a marriage to be viewed as legitimate in Athens, both the bride and groom had to be of free status, and after 451 BC, both had to be legitimate children of Athenian citizen families. Children of such unions would then be considered legitimate Athenian citizens when they came of age. Though the marriages were not legally recognized in Athens, wealthy metics would be considered married by those around them if they followed the same procedures and ceremonies. These couples would then act as any married Athenian couple would.
In Ancient Gortyn The Gortyn Code gives information on the law surrounding marriage in ancient Gortyn. Though the code records the law, scholar Sue Blundell reminds us we should not assume that this reflects a consistently held practice. The code seems to mostly address legality of marriages to consider the citizenship and political status of any children. Citizenship of the children of slave men and free women depended on where the children lived. Children were considered slaves if the couple lived and raised the children in the house of their father, making them property of his master. If the couple lived and raised children in the house of their mother they were considered free. Children born to two slave parents would be owned by their master.
Arranged marriage Marriage was usually arranged between the parents of the bride and the groom. A man would choose his wife based on three things: the dowry, which was given by the father of the bride to the groom; her presumed fertility; and her skills, such as weaving. There were usually no established age limits for marriage, although, with the exception of political marriages, waiting until childbearing age was considered proper decorum. Many girls were married by the age of 14 or 16, while men commonly married around the age of 30.
The son-in-law and father-in-law became allies (, etai, "clansmen")Pl. of etes. through the exchange of gifts in preparation for the transfer of the bride. Gifts ( dora)Pl. of doron. signified the alliance between the two households. The exchange also showed that the girl's family was not simply selling her or rejecting her; the gifts formalized the legitimacy of a marriage. Gifts from the betrothed wife ( hedna)Pl. of hednon. usually consisted of cattle.Powers, Jennifer. "Greek Weddings: The History of Marriage." SUNY Albany, 1997. Web. 18 March 2014.
A husband might have a wife and a concubine. If the wife gave consent, children bred from the concubine would be acknowledged as heirs to the husband. This practice was mainly confined to high status wealthy men, allowing them multiple concubines and mistresses but only one wife.Apostolou, Menelaos. "Sexual Selection Under Parental Choice: Evidence From Sixteen Historical Societies." Evolutionary Psychology 10.3 (2012): 504-518. Academic Search Complete. Web. 19 Mar. 2014
Marriages were also arranged through the meeting of the fathers of the young couple, basing the marriage on their interests in expanding a business or forging an alliance between the families, with little concern about what the groom thought of the situation, and no regard for what the wife wished.Thompson, James C. "MARRIAGE IN ANCIENT ATHENS." MARRIAGE IN ANCIENT ATHENS. N.p., n.d., July 2010. Web. 19 Mar. 2014.
Selecting a spouse Independent of any public considerations, there were also private or personal reasons (particular to the ancients) which made marriage an obligation. Plato mentions one of these as the duty incumbent upon every individual to provide for a continuance of representatives to succeed himself as ministers of the Divinity (toi Theoi hyperetas an' hautou paradidonai). Another was the desire felt by almost everyone, not merely to perpetuate his own name, but also to prevent his heritage being desolate, and his name being cut off, and to leave someone who might make the customary offerings at his grave.Isaeus de Apoll. Hered. p. 66. Bek. With this in mind, childless persons would sometimes adopt unwanted children, including children who had been left to die.
By Athenian law, a citizen was not allowed to marry a foreign woman, nor conversely, under very severe penalties.Demosth. c.Neaer. p. 1350 However, proximity by blood (anchisteia), or consanguinity (syngeneia), was not, with few exceptions, a bar to marriage in any part of Greece; direct lineal descent was.Isaeus, de Oiron. her. p. 72. Thus, brothers were permitted to marry even with sisters, if not homometrioi or born from the same mother, as Cimon did with Elpinice, though a connection of this sort appears to have been looked on with abhorrence.Becker, Charikles, vol. ii. p. 448.
There is no evidence to suggest that love ever played a significant role in selecting a legal spouse, though scholars have stated that it is likely there would have been affairs due to love.
Heiresses In Athens, in the case of a father dying intestate and without male children, his heiress had no choice in marriage. The woman was not an heiress by modern day Western standards, as she could not actually own the land, however, she could not be separated from it. This meant that any man would have to first marry her in order to own the land. She was compelled by law to marry her nearest kinsman, usually a first cousin or an uncle that was capable of fathering children. If either the heiress and/or her potential husband are married they were required to divorce, unless the father had taken the precaution of adopting his daughter's current husband as his heir before his death. Under Solon's reforms couples of this nature were required to have sex a minimum of three times per month in order to conceive a male heir. If the heiress were poor (thessa), the nearest unmarried kinsman either married her or portioned her suitably to her rank. When there were several co-heiresses, they were respectively married to their kinsmen, the nearest having the first choice (see Epikleros). In fact the heiress, together with her inheritance, belonged to the kinsmen of the family, so that in early times a father could not give his daughter (if an heiress) in marriage without their consent.Muller, Dorians, ii. 10. § 4. This was not the case, however, in later Athenian law,Demosth., C. Steph.; p. 1134. by which a father was empowered to dispose of his daughter by will or otherwise; just as widows were disposed of in marriage by the will of their husbands, who were still considered their rightful guardians (kyrioi).Demosth. C. Aphob.; p. 814.
The same practice of marrying in the family (oikos), especially in the case of heiresses, prevailed in Sparta. These women were known as patrouchoi. Leonidas married the heiress of Cleomenes I, as her anchisteia, or next of kin, and Anaxandrides his own sister's daughter. Moreover, if a father had not determined himself concerning his daughter, the king's court decided who among the privileged persons or members of the same family should marry the heiress.Herodotus, vi. 57; Muller, /. c.
Lin Foxhall has cited evidence of a similar tradition in ancient Gortyn, where the women were known as patroiokoi. These girls would be married as young as 12 in order to produce an heir as quickly as possible. They could be claimed first by paternal uncles, and if there was no uncles to make the claim, then paternal cousins by order of age would have the next right to marry her. If still no one was able to claim her, she was free to marry who she pleased "of the tribe from those who apply". However, if she were to turn down the first claimant, she would owe him half of her inheritance.
Dates for marriage Ancient Greeks primarily married in winter, during the month of Gamelion, the equivalent of the month of January. Gamelion translates to "Wedding-Month". This was done in honour of the goddess of marriage, Hera. There were also special sacrifices made to her throughout the month.
Engagement