Japanese dining etiquette is a set of traditional perceptions governing specific expectations which outlines general standards of how one should behave and respond in various dining situations.
Overview In Japan, it is customary to say before starting to eat a meal. Similar to the French phrase bon appétit or the act of saying grace, itadakimasu serves as an expression of gratitude for all who played a role in providing the food, including farmers, as well as the living organisms that gave their life to become part of the meal. Saying itadakimasu before a meal has been described as both a secular and a religious practice.
When saying itadakimasu, both hands are put together in front of the chest or on the lap. The Japanese attach as much importance to the aesthetic arrangement of the food as its actual taste. Before touching the food, it is polite to compliment the chef. It is also a polite custom to wait for the eldest or highest ranking guest at the table to start eating before the other diners start. Another customary and important etiquette is to say (ja) to the host after the meal and the restaurant staff when leaving.
Not finishing one's meal is not considered impolite in Japan, but rather is taken as a signal to the host that one wishes to be served another helping. Conversely, finishing one's meal completely, especially the rice, indicates that one is satisfied and therefore does not wish to be served any more. Children are especially encouraged to eat every last grain of rice. (See also mottainai as Buddhist philosophy.) It is impolite to pick out certain ingredients and leave the rest. One should chew with the mouth closed.
It is acceptable to lift soup and rice bowls to the mouth so one does not spill food. Miso soup is drunk directly from its (small) bowl; larger soups and those with chunky ingredients may come with a spoon. Hashi ("chopsticks") are always provided. Noodles from hot soup are often blown on (once lifted from the soup) to cool them before eating; and it is appropriate to slurp certain foods, especially ramen or soba noodles. However, slurping is not practiced universally, and Western-style noodles (pasta) should not be slurped.
Rice is generally eaten plain or sometimes with nori (very thin sheets of dried seaweed, perhaps shredded or cut into strips) or furikake (a seasoning). More substantial additives may also be provided: a raw egg, nattō (sticky fermented soy beans), a small piece of cooked fish, or tsukemono (preserved vegetables). The egg and nattō are often served at breakfast; both are meant to be mixed into the rice. Less commonly, dishes feature rice with ingredients mixed in, either during the cooking (takikomi gohan, "cooked in rice") or after the rice has been cooked (maze gohan, 混ぜご飯, "mixed rice").
Pouring soy sauce over white rice is not a Japanese custom, nor is it good form to pour soy sauce directly over sashimi or sushi. Soy sauce is a condiment to be used with discretion, just enough to enhance, but not overwhelm the flavor of the food to which it is added. At each diner's seat, a small dish is provided for holding the sauce and dipping in a bit of food. To pour an excessive amount of soy sauce into this dish is considered greedy and wasteful (see mottainai). Put in a little, and add more as needed.
Sushi etiquette dictates that when eating nigiri-zushi, one dips the topping-side of the sushi piece into the soy sauce, thus protecting the rice from soaking up too much sauce. Leaving stray grains of rice floating in the sauce is considered uncouth, but can be hard to avoid for those who have difficulty manipulating chopsticks. It is also uncouth to mix wasabi (green horseradish) into the soy sauce dish. Instead, put a dab of wasabi on the sushi piece after it has been dipped. In sushi-only restaurants, it is perfectly acceptable to use fingers instead of chopsticks to eat the nigiri-zushi.
It is uncommon for Japanese people to eat or drink while walking in public because it can be seen as inconsiderate to others. Eating while walking may imply that you think you are too busy or important to sit down and eat, and it can cause a mess if any food is dropped. Drink vending machines in Japan generally have a recycling bin for used bottles and cans, so one can consume the drink there; and in summer months one may see groups drinking near a vending machine. Some consider it rude to eat in public, but this is not a universally held aversion.
Many Japanese restaurants provide diners with single-use wooden/bamboo chopsticks that must be snapped apart near their tops (which are thicker than the bottoms). As a result, the attachment area may produce small splinters. Never rub chopsticks against each other to remove splinters: this is considered extremely rude, implying that one thinks the utensils are cheap. At the beginning of the meal, use the smooth bottom ends to pick up food from serving dishes if no other utensils have been provided for that purpose. Then eat, holding food between the bottoms of the hashi. If you later want to use your hashi to take more food from serving dishes, use the top ends to do so in order to avoid "contaminating" the food on the tray. At the end of the meal, it is good manners to return single-use chopsticks part way into their original paper wrapper; this covers the soiled sticks while indicating that the package has been used.
In Japanese restaurants, customers are given a rolled hand towel called oshibori. It is considered rude to use the towel to wipe the face or neck; however, some people, usually men, do this at more informal restaurants. Nonwoven towelettes are replacing the cloth oshibori.
In any situation, an uncertain diner can observe what others are doing; and for non-Japanese people to ask how to do something properly is generally received with appreciation for the acknowledgment of cultural differences and expression of interest in learning Japanese ways.
When using toothpicks, it is good etiquette to cover one's mouth with the other hand. Blowing one's nose in public is considered rude, especially at a restaurant; cloth handkerchiefs should never be used for this purpose. Conversely, sniffling is considered acceptable, as an alternative to nose-blowing. When sneezing, it is polite to cover one's nose with a hand.
Tables and sitting Many restaurants and homes in Japan are equipped with Western-style chairs and tables. However, traditional Japanese low tables and cushions, usually found on tatami floors, are also very common. Tatami mats, which are made of straw, can be easily damaged and are hard to clean, thus shoes or any type of footwear are always taken off when stepping on tatami floors.
When dining in a traditional tatami room, sitting upright on the floor is common. In a casual setting, men usually sit with their feet crossed and women sit with both legs to one side. Only men are supposed to sit cross-legged. The formal way of sitting for both sexes is a kneeling style known as seiza. To sit in a seiza position, one kneels on the floor with legs folded under the thighs and the buttocks resting on the heels.
When dining out in a restaurant, the customers are guided to their seats by the host. The honored or eldest guest will usually be seated at the center of the table farthest from the entrance. In the home, the most important guest is also seated farthest away from the entrance. If there is a tokonoma, or alcove, in the room, the guest is seated in front of it. The host sits next to or closest to the entrance.
Hot towels Before eating, most dining places provide either a hot or cold towel or a plastic-wrapped wet napkin (o-shibori). This is for cleaning hands before eating (and not after). It is rude to use them to wash the face or any part of the body other than the hands, though some Japanese men use their o-shibori to wipe their faces in less formal places. Accept o-shibori with both hands when handed the towel by a server. When finished, fold or roll up the o-shibori and place it on the table. It is impolite to use o-shibori towels to wipe any spills on the table.
Soy sauce Soy sauce (shōyu) is not usually poured over most foods at the table; a dipping dish is usually provided. Soy sauce is, however, meant to be poured directly onto tōfu and grated daikon dishes, and in the raw egg when preparing tamago kake gohan ("egg on rice").
Chopsticks and bowls
There are many traditions and perceptions surrounding the use of . Chopsticks are never left sticking vertically into rice, as this behaviour, which is called Tate-bashi (たて箸; たてばし), resembles incense sticks (which are usually placed vertically in sand during offerings to the dead). This may easily offend some Japanese people. Using chopsticks to spear food is also frowned upon and it is considered very bad manners to bite chopsticks. Other important perceptions to remember include the following: Hold chopsticks towards their end, and not in the middle or the front third. Chopsticks not in use should be laid down in front of the meal with the tip to the left. This is also the correct position in which to place chopsticks after the meal's conclusion. Do not pass food with chopsticks directly to somebody else's chopsticks. This technique, which is called Hiroi-bashi (拾い箸; ひろいばし), is only used at funerals, during which the bones of the cremated body of the dead person are passed from person to person in this manner. When passing food to someone else during a meal (a questionable practice in public), one should pick up the food with one's own chopsticks, reversing the chopsticks to use the end which were not in direct contact with the handler's mouth, and place it on a small plate, allowing the recipient to retrieve it (with the recipient's own chopsticks). If no other utensils are available while sharing plates of food, the ends of the chopsticks are used to retrieve the shared food. Mismatched chopsticks are not to be used. Do not move chopsticks around in the air too much or play with them. Do not move plates or bowls around with chopsticks. Do not hover or wave chopsticks over the dishes set on a table; this is often done by mistake when choosing which food to eat first. This behaviour, which is called Mayoi-bashi (迷い箸; まよいばし), is perceived as inappropriate, as it conveys impatience and greed in the context of Japanese dining etiquette. To avoid this, it is important to decide which food to eat first before using chopsticks to move the food onto a plate. To separate a piece of food into two pieces, exert controlled pressure on the chopsticks while moving them apart from each other. Do not place chopsticks so that they point at someone else. This is perceived as a symbolic threat. To make sure that any sauce or liquid attached to the food does not drip from the food or chopsticks, food which has been dipped into a soy sauce or similar kind should not be carried with chopsticks; this taboo is called Namida-bashi (涙箸; なみだばし). It is considered to be immature and unclean when the sauce or liquid from the food is dripped on the table. Put the chopsticks onto the table before talking and do not use the chopsticks to gesture or point during conversation.
Chopsticks, after being picked up with one hand, should be held firmly while considering three key points: the thumb is placed just how a pencil is held; ensure that the thumb is touched with the upper part of the chopstick. The lower part of the chopstick remains still and rests with the index finger. Make sure that the arm is relaxed so that it forms a gentle curve.