"Tuesday Morning Quarterback" was a column written by Gregg Easterbrook that started in 2000 and published every football season until temporarily stopping publication for the 2016 season. The column moved to The Weekly Standard for the 2017 NFL season, debuting on August 22, 2017.
The column is noted for its length (it often runs over 15 pages in printed form) and frequent sidetracking into political and non-football-related discussion. Easterbrook commonly includes a "Running Items Department", football haiku and senryū, "Cheerbabe Cheesecake" and "Equal-Time Beefcake", "obscure college-football scores" including his obsession with Indiana of Pennsylvania and California of Pennsylvania, and continual references to Christmas creep and the general trend of pushing events earlier and earlier (which he refers to as the "Unified Field Theory of Creep").
The column derives its name from the phrase Monday morning quarterback, a derogatory term for a pundit (and the name of a competing long-read column by Peter King of Sports Illustrated). The change in day reflects its typical publishing date of Tuesday, which also allows the column to address that week's Monday Night Football contest. He also guarantees "All Predictions Wrong or Your Money Back." Since the column is free, there is nothing to be refunded.
On May 13, 2015, Easterbrook announced that ESPN had not renewed "TMQ".
Easterbrook joined The Upshot, the blog of The New York Times, for the 2015 NFL season. The column went on hiatus in 2016. For the 2017 season, Easterbrook's columns were published by The Weekly Standard, until Week 15, when the whole magazine folded. Beginning with the first week of the 2023 NFL season, "TMQ" has been published on Easterbrook's Substack, "All Predictions Wrong."
Recurring themes General themes which recur in the column include:
An emphasis on solid football fundamentals, as opposed to what Easterbrook considers an overemphasis on flashy, but risky, and often foolish plays, designed to obtain greater media coverage. Bemoaning the tendency of teams to pass instead of run the football. Analysis of coaching strategy and various excellent or atrocious plays and games. Contending that most successful plays are usually the product of good offensive or defensive line play, rather than the prowess of any individual quarterback, running back or wide receiver. Criticizing the overuse of the blitz Commenting on coaches punting or kicking field goals instead of trying for first downs or touchdowns, which he mocks as "cowardly". Mockery of most coaches in general, except for Bill Belichick with whom he has a conflicted relationship, due to his brilliant coaching yet recent ethical lapses. Mockery of various publicity stunts and other public actions from individuals in the football world whom he considers foolish. A continuing tirade against the NFL Sunday Ticket product available only through DirecTV, which he considers an illegal monopoly and an example of a for-profit corporation taking advantage of municipal taxpayers, who fund NFL stadium construction. Advocates a "no punting" strategy on 4th down plays, as well as going for a two-point conversion when trailing by one in the final seconds of a game, citing the higher expected value of a successful conversion vs. turning the ball over to the opponent, and bemoaning coaches who do not take the risk. The crux of Easterbrook's argument is that the average yards gained on a play is 5 yards. Analysts, however, have stated this theory is short-sighted, since it does not take into account the fact that 4th-and-short attempts usually face goal-line defenses; as such, the two-point conversion, which takes place only two yards from the end zone, is more likely to fail than not, with a 40% success rate.EricMenhart.com "Going For Two in the NFL: Right or Wrong?", June 28, 2007. Easterbrook disputes this analysis and claims that the real percentage is between 50% and 55%. Criticizing several local markets' tendency to air lackluster games as opposed to more competitive matchups, except when a local team is playing, which by NFL rules with the television contracts are required to be shown in their home market in their entirety. Criticizing teams that make uniform changes, having cited only four recent team uniform changes (New England, Philadelphia, San Diego, and St. Louis) as being an improvement. In particular, Easterbrook hates the monochrome look of several teams, leading to the cognomen for Atlanta, Denver, and Seattle, while having mixed opinions on teams wearing throwbacks, favoring the Chargers' 1960s look, Buffalo Bills O. J. Simpson-era uniforms, and the Redskins 70th Anniversary throwbacks but not caring much for throwbacks worn by the Eagles, Steelers, or the New York Jets decision to return to the Joe Namath-era uniforms full-time in 1998. Highlighting examples of running up the score at all levels of football and counterexamples of the same team losing, as an illustration of bad karma. (Easterbrook will occasionally and facetiously compare the two scores, add the margin of loss to the margin of victory, and extrapolate a transitive relation, suggesting that the team whom the runners lost to would have beaten the team the runners had won against by an even larger margin.) Easterbrook does not object to running up the score in the NFL, with the caveat that tragedy follows greed for those who do so.
Easterbrook also espouses certain football superstitions attributed to a "pantheon" of "football gods" who bestow victory upon the team with the least warmly dressed coach (Cold Coach = Victory), the most sportsmanlike conduct, the most spirited play, or the most scantily dressed cheerleaders (especially in cold weather); Easterbrook also highlights one particularly attractive cheerleader from an NFL team each week.
Also, the column is known for randomly placed items and rants on various topics on politics, science fiction, actual science, and various television, film, and pop culture items. Photographs and captions accompany the columns which are often designed to be ridiculously humorous metaphors or caricatures of various persons or items mentioned in the column.
"TMQ" team nicknames Easterbrook refers to teams by nicknames or "cognomen", such as "Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Persons" (Washington Redskins) and "Arizona CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN FOOTBALL-LIKE SUBSTANCE Cardinals" (Arizona Cardinals). The nicknames are usually used only if a team is struggling or if the team made a boneheaded play that cost them a game. One exception is the Redskins, whom Easterbrook criticized because of the team's Native American mascot. The nicknames also extends into college football, calling the Miami Hurricanes the "Miami Tropical Storms" having been downgraded from a hurricane to a tropical storm, likely in reference to the 2011 scandal.
Beginning with the 2014 season, Easterbrook largely abandoned cognomens for teams, preferring to call the teams by their actual names. Exceptions were made for the Redskins (whose nickname had got more mainstream controversy in recent years and was ultimately retired in 2020) and teams that play a considerable distance from their home city like the Giants, Jets, and 49ers. As of the 2017 season, Easterbrook still maintains an official list of cognomen.