Relationship maintenance refers to behaviours and strategies that partners use to maintain, strengthen, or improve an interpersonal relationship. It encompasses both routine interactions and deliberate efforts to preserve the relationship and its quality, foster emotional closeness, manage conflict, and support long-term stability.Dindia, K., & Canary, D.J. (1993). (Eds.), Relational Maintenance. Special issue, Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 10. Caryl E. Rusbult, Nils Olsen, Jody L. Davis, Peggy A. Hannon The concept has been examined most extensively in romantic and long-term intimate relationships, although a smaller body of work applies the concept to friendships, family relationships, and other interpersonal contexts, such as involuntary relationships in which individuals must maintain an unwanted connection.
Common behaviours that partners use to sustain, strengthen, or improve romantic and long-term intimate relationships fall into the following categories:
Routine maintenance behaviours include everyday interactions that positively contribute to relational stability, such as affectionate communication, positive tone, and shared activities Strategic maintenance behaviors involve more deliberate or planned efforts, such as intentional conversations, conflict resolution attempts, or scheduled time together Communication-based strategies, particularly openness, assurances, and constructive conflict management, have been shown to support relationship satisfaction and commitment Behavioral investments, such as cooperation on shared tasks, responsiveness to partner needs, and expressions of long-term commitment Emotional and intimate maintenance behaviours, such as expressions of affection, emotional support and sexual or physical intimacy Digital maintenance, such as texting, video communication, and online transparency, has become increasingly relevant, particularly in long-distance relationships
First, in order to keep a relationship in existence (for example, adult friends that contact each other infrequently, but adequately to maintain the friendship), means the relationship continues without termination. Second, in order to keep a relationship in a specified state or condition, human communication professors Kathryn Dindia and Daniel Canary "refers to sustaining the present level of certain dimensions or qualities thought to be important in relationship development." There are three elements of a stable relationship: the participants reach minimal agreement about the relationship, relationships can stabilize at different levels of intimacy, and relationship still has considerable change occurring in it.Wilmot 1987 W.W. Dyadic Communication New York Random House
Canary and Stafford described five communication strategies: positivity, openness, assurances, social networks, and sharing tasks. Each of these qualities equates to spending time together, and interacting either physically or emotionally. Positivity refers to having a positive attitude, even when not necessarily feeling like doing so. This often means not participating in condemnation and negativity. Canary and Stafford mentions openness in a way that encourages discussion in a relationship that is filled with direction and goals. Social networks include having friends and family to help balance out the relationship. Subsequent research has found that maintenance strategies strongly predict important relational characteristics, such as commitment, relational satisfaction, stability, liking, and loving others.
Social maintenance behaviors
When maintaining a relationship, any behavior that is positive and promotes deepening trust and closeness between people is a prosocial maintenance behavior. The more prosocial behavior is evident in a relationship, the more likely for strong bonds to be formed, and the relationship to prosper and continue. Low levels of prosocial maintenance behavior give less reinforcement in the relationship, and thus more a weak foundation often leads to the relationships deterioration, or at least non-progression.Guerrero, L. K., Andersen, P. A., & Afifi, W. A. (2007). Close encounters: communication in relationships (2nd ed.). Los Angeles: Sage Publications.
Prosocial maintenance behavior does not value one source of positivity more than the other, although the individual might. Verbalizing fondness through positive speech might be what one partner craves in a relationship, while another might find more affection in a willingness to help with household chores. This type of task sharing is also a part of what is known as routine maintenance, and a relatively equal effort by each party is a prosocial function that greatly adds to relationship satisfaction.
Friends who have romantic intentions are more likely to use prosocial maintenance behavior. Friends that want to move to romantic relationships use more maintenance behaviors, as increases in maintenance behavior mark a change from friendship to romance.Guerrero, L., & Chavez, A. (2005). Relational maintenance in cross-sex friendships characterized by different types of romantic intent: An exploratory study. Western Journal of Communication, 341-360.
As a contrast to prosocial behavior that is used to strengthen bonds and reinforce a relationship, anti-social maintenance behavior is another strategic behavior pattern that can be used to maintain a current relationship. Its use of continuing a relationship at its current level, would be to decline invitations to opportunities to create new levels of a relationship. Declining these opportunities exemplifies antisocial behavior, which is generally deliberate in its implementation.
Types of relationships
Mentor and student Daniel J. A. Rhind and Sophia Jowett of Brunel University conducted a study on relationship maintenance strategies in coach-athlete relationships. They discovered the COMPASS Model which exposed seven main groupings: conflict management, openness, motivation, positivity, advice, support, and social networks. The COMPASS model was developed based on this analysis and was offered as a theoretical framework for understanding how coaches and athletes might maintain the quality of their relationships.
Friends A recent study on Italians living as couples has shown that friendship relationships, beyond those within an individual's family, are an important source of support. Data from Aspects of Daily Life, the Italian National Statistical Institute's 2012 multipurpose survey, was used to analyze the relation between friendship ties and life satisfaction. Results show that friendship, in terms of intensity (measured by the frequency with which individuals see their friends) and quality (measured by the satisfaction with friendship relationships), is positively associated to life satisfaction. In the first study of its kind, a University of Kansas professor defined the amount of time necessary to make a friend as well as how long it typically takes to move through the deepening stages of friendship. In a new report published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Associate Professor of Communication Studies Jeffrey Hall found that it takes roughly 50 hours of time together to move from mere acquaintance to casual friend, 90 hours to go from that stage to simple "friend" status and more than 200 hours before someone can be considered a close friend. Just as time and energy is put into creating a friendship, so is nurturing and maintaining that friendship. Maintaining a friendship can take several forms, such as access to useful information, company (e.g., personal and intimate relationships, time spent talking together, and shared amusement time or meals), and emotional (e.g., advice about a serious personal or family matter) and instrumental (e.g., economic aid, administrative procedures, house-keeping) support.
Romantic Romantic relationships have an extra element that is not found in friendship relationships. In romantic relationships, there is the intimacy element that is added. This is physical intimacy and a deeper emotional intimacy than a friendship would have. There are four relationship stages when it comes to romantic relationships:Stafford, L., & Canary, D. (1991). Maintenance strategies and romantic relationship type, gender and relational characteristics. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 217-242. casually dating, seriously dating, engaged, married.
It was reported that married and engaged couples used more assurances and task sharing than did dating couples. However, engaged and seriously dating couples reported that they used openness and positivity more than did married couples. Married couples reported the most social networking. Daters tended to be more social with one another. For example, they called and sent each other notes and cards more than the married couples did.
Partners tend to disclose more information early on in their relationship stages. Then they get to know one another better.Dainton, M., & Aylor, B. (2002). Routine and strategic maintenance efforts: Behavioral patterns, variations associated with relational length, and the prediction of relational characteristics. Communication Monographs, 52-66.
In the marriage stage of relationships, couples tend to have a curvilinear pattern. They use maintenance behavior early on in the relationship and then also in the later years of their marriage.Weigel, D., & Ballard-Reisch, D. (1999). The influence of marital duration on the use of relationship maintenance behaviors. Communication Reports, 59-70. Partners tend to be very excited about the new marriage and work at the relationship maintenance. As the years progress they may shift focus to family or careers, but then later on when their children have grown and they are settled in their careers the focus may come back to the relationship maintenance since the couple have fewer distractions.
Romantic intent There are four types of cross-sex friendships that are different in terms of romantic intent. Strictly platonic groups have both sides saying they do not want anything romantic out of the relationship. Those in mutual romance groups both want the friendship to become romantic. Individuals in a desires-romance group indicates that they wanted the friendship to become romantic, but the partner indicate they want to stay friends. Last, the rejects-romance group said that they would like the friendship to stay platonic, but the other person wanted it to become romantic.
Groups that wish to keep the relationship platonic or with only one person interested in romance utilize less relationship maintenance. These groups tend to talk about outside relationships, and there is an activity done together and less flirtations used.
Long-distance relationships This type of relationship can be one of the most challenging relationships to maintain. One of the main challenges in maintaining a long-distance relationship is the lack of face-to-face contact and communication.Stafford, L., & Merolla, A. (2007). Idealization, reunions, and stability in long-distance dating relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 37-54. Face-to-face communication is thought to be the adhesive that holds a romantic relationship together. When couples are able to have face-to-face communication, they are able to do things together and interact with each other in a physical manner.