When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Approach to Guy/Girl Relationships is a 1999 book by Eric and Leslie Ludy, an American married couple. After becoming a bestseller on the Christian book market, the book was republished in 2004 and then revised and expanded in 2009. It tells the story of the authors' first meeting, courtship, and marriage. The authors advise single people not to be physically or emotionally intimate with others, but to wait for the spouse that God has planned for them. The first edition was packaged with a CD single by the Ludys: "Faithfully", a song they had written specifically to accompany the book.
The book is divided into five sections and sixteen chapters. Each chapter is written from the perspective of one of the two authors; nine are by Eric, while Leslie wrote seven, as well as the introduction. The Ludys argue that one's love life should be both guided by and subordinate to one's relationship with God. Leslie writes that God offers new beginnings to formerly unchaste or sexually abused individuals.
Other American Christian authors, such as Mark Matlock and Jason Evert, wrote highly of When God Writes Your Love Story. Leah Andrews of the Lewiston Morning Tribune compared When God Writes Your Love Story to other popular Christian books providing alternatives to dating, including Joshua Harris's I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl. Eastern University Christian studies professors Margaret and Dwight Peterson responded to the Ludys' book by writing an essay called "God Does Not Want to Write Your Love Story," in which the Petersons argue that the book makes young people see marriage as a fantasy comparable to that of Disney Princesses, and that this fantasy often results in disappointment. Rick Holland, an instructor at The Master's College and Seminary and pastor of College and Student Ministries at Grace Community Church, criticized the Ludys' description of dating, claiming it was based too much on anecdotes and not enough on the Bible.
Background When God Writes Your Love Story, first published in the United States in 1999,Ludy and Ludy (1999). is the third book written by Eric and Leslie Ludy, an American married couple.Raunikar (2000), p. 225 Like the Ludys' previous two books, His Perfect Faithfulness: The Story of our Courtship (1996)Ludy and Ludy (1996). and Romance God's Way (1997),Ludy and Ludy (1997). its major themes are romance and Christianity; it tells the story of the authors' first meeting, courtship, and marriage. After becoming a bestseller on the Christian book market, When God Writes Your Love Story was republished in 2004 and then revised and expanded in 2009.Ludy and Ludy (2009). More than 350,000 copies were sold worldwide by 2009. Translations of the book have been published in Spanish,Ludy and Ludy (2006), Cuando Dios Escribe Tu Historia de Amor. German,Ludy and Ludy (2005), Wenn Gott deine Liebesgeschichte schreibt. and Traditional Chinese.Ludy and Ludy (2007).
Eric and Leslie Ludy met when Eric was 21 and Leslie was 16.Ludy and Ludy (2005), Teaching True Love to a Sex-at-13 Generation. They pursued a friendship for several months before starting to court,Ludy and Ludy (1999), p. 189. and married in December 1994, the same month that Eric turned 24. In When God Writes Your Love Story, the Ludys advise single people not to be physically or emotionally intimate with others, but to wait for the life partner that God has planned for them; the Ludys suggest that one should marry this person rather than independently choosing a mate. Also focusing on premarital physical and emotional purity,DeMoss and Gresh (2007), p. 279. the authors do not discuss the physical processes of sexual activity. Like many other Christian books about premarital romantic relationships, the Ludys' book explicitly does not present a set of rules to follow or a strategy for romantic success, but rather gives readers a framework for pursuing Christian romantic relationships; the book is intended to be a tool in the creation of the reader's unique romantic relationship rather than as a blueprint explaining what all Christian romantic relationships are supposed to look like.Irby (2013), p. 186.
Before the book's release, it was endorsed by Leslie and Les Parrott, authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts; Beverly LaHaye of Concerned Women for America; and Joe White, President of Kanakuk Kamps. The first edition was packaged with a CD single by the Ludys: "Faithfully", a song they had written specifically to accompany the book, with lyrics discussing the beauty of having a life partner.Ludy and Ludy (2006), A Perfect Wedding, p. 20.
Content The book is divided into five sections and sixteen chapters. Each chapter is written from the perspective of one of the two authors; nine are by Eric, while Leslie writes seven, as well as the introduction. The first section, "Desiring a Love Story", addresses sexual desire and lovesickness, suggesting that temporary relationships cannot fulfill those longings. Section Two, "Preparing for a Love Story", advances ways in which one might, before initiating a romantic relationship, develop the characteristics of a good spouse. The next section, "Waiting for a Love Story", discusses the practice of fidelity to one's future spouse before meeting them by way of sexual abstinence and argues that waiting indefinitely is worth it even if one's soulmate never arrives. In the fourth section, "Sweetening a Love Story", the Ludys provide advice on how to proceed once the possibility of a romantic relationship has presented itself. The final section, "Discovering a God-written Love Story", argues that it is never too late to give God control of one's love life, and that this sacrifice should be made not in expectation of personal benefit but rather to benefit one's future spouse and to honor God.
Early in the book, Eric retells a portion of Homer's Odyssey, describing the episode in which Ulysses sails near the land of the Sirens: creatures whose song so attracts seafarers that they sail towards them and crash on the rocks. In this story, Ulysses orders all his men to fill their ears with beeswax and then tie him to the mast; the ship therefore sails through the area unharmed. Still, Ulysses, hearing the Sirens' song the entire time, is tortured by its beauty and his inability to get to the song's source. Eric follows this story with a retelling of the story of Orpheus's encounter with the Sirens. In this story, Orpheus's solution is to play a "sweeter song" than that of the Sirens;Ludy and Ludy (2009), p. 17. his ship also passes unharmed, his men so entranced by his song that they do not notice the Sirens. Eric then argues from analogy that, normally, those who force themselves to resist premarital sexual and romantic temptations are likely to find the process torturous (like Ulysses), while those who listen to the plans God has for them find waiting for marriage much easier (as it was for Orpheus's crew). Eric expands on the concept of the "sweeter song" throughout the book and often refers to it. Another frequently mentioned concept in the book is "the beautiful side of love";Ludy and Ludy (2009), p. 19. the Ludys use this phrase to refer to a lasting, satisfying romance and contrast this state with such other experiences as breakups, unrequited love, and sexual frustration.
The Ludys argue that one's love life should be both guided by and subordinate to one's relationship with God. They suggest that, "if God's plan and purpose for you is marriage, then the person you will one day marry ... is alive and wandering the earth" and that this knowledge should encourage people to act in such a way that their future spouses would be pleased.Ludy and Ludy (2009), p. 73. The Ludys contest the definition of "true love" as an emotion; instead, they define "true love" as the choice to commit to another person no matter what happens. Eric writes that "there are two ways each of us can approach life: spending our days meeting our needs or looking for ways to meet others' needs. The mystery is that when we spend our life focused on our own needs, we are never satisfied ... but when we pour out our life and focus on how we can serve others ... our deepest needs are met as well!"Ludy and Ludy (2009), p. 205.
Leslie argues that non-permanent relationships involving physical or emotional intimacy (or both) result in long-term psychological pain and that one should therefore only become physically or emotionally intimate with one's spouse. Eric retells the Greek myth of the suitors of Penelope, in which Penelope, whose husband Ulysses is erroneously believed to be dead, resists a large number of marriage proposals until Ulysses returns and kills the suitors. Eric uses the story to suggest that one should be faithful to one's future spouse even if it appears that they will never arrive. Eric argues that selfless service is an important part of marriage. He therefore suggests that a good way for a man to make himself ready for his future spouse is to serve his mother and sisters, and that single women should practice serving their fathers and brothers. Leslie writes that she is commonly asked the question "How will I know when a relationship is from God?" and her response is that people are likelier to recognize that a relationship is from God when they have a "team ... made up of godly people who can keep us accountable to our commitments, pray with us, and provide a refreshing outside perspective."Ludy and Ludy (1999), p. 187. She indicates that this team should include one's parents or, if one does not have living Christian parents, other Christians of an older generation. She writes that God offers new beginnings to formerly unchaste or sexually abused individuals.
Critical response
Discussions of context
When God Writes Your Love Story is a popular Christian book that provides alternatives to dating. For this reason, Leah Andrews of the Lewiston Morning Tribune compared the book to Joshua Harris's I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl. When God Writes Your Love Story also contains Evangelical sexual abstinence teachings. Christine Gardner, a communications professor at Wheaton College, investigates such teachings in Making Chastity Sexy: The Rhetoric of Evangelical Abstinence Campaigns, and discusses the Ludys' book as part of this investigation. Gardner writes that she interviewed a twenty-two-year-old woman who had read When God Writes Your Love Story and "desperately wanted God to write her love story, but she thought that she would help him out by filling in the blanks." Gardner argues that the result "was a fractured fairy tale, one without a happy ending."Gardner (2011), p. 114.