The Astronautilia (Czech: ; full title in Greek: ; i.e. "An unknown poet's Starvoyage, or the Cosmic Micro-Odyssey") is the New Ancient Greek magnum opus of Czech poet and writer Jan Křesadlo, written in 1994 under the hellenised pseudonym Ἰωάννης Πυρεῖα. One of the most unusual works of twentieth-century literature, it was published shortly after his death as a commemorative first edition..
A full translation into English prose by Ace Rockman was made publicly available in November 2025. Previously only a sample chapter translation was available online. A German translation of the fully transcribed and annotated Greek text is in preparation.
Genre Aside from the science fiction and epic poem aspects, the postmodern playfulness of the plot itself is underlined by the Czech language Prologue (see part translation) in Karel Čapek's mystification style. Jan Křesadlo purports to have come into the whole process not as the author, but as a translator of the Greek original "by an unknown author." We are to believe this is a real travelogue, whose alleged author is a space-time travelling Captain Oudeis / Nemo, (as confirmed by "copyright Nemo" for the Greek text edition.) Oudeis' travelogue was dictated to his universal translator Franta (which is a creature resembling a skunk, but made entirely of brain tissue.) Franta, who lacked common sense, thought it wise to write it all down in Homeric Greek, so as to make it more famous. At least, that is the claim made to Křesadlo by the 'archivist Divíšek' (a reference to Čapek's character of the same name) who brings the Greek text to Křesadlo for translation. (Albeit Křesadlo supposes that Divíšek wrote it himself.)
The text begins with a Latin summary for the erudite non-Czech reader. Greek neologisms are explained in a Greek-English glossary.
Contents
Preface Epistola ad lectorem doctum Synopsis brevior Prologue
The plot is divided according to the Greek alphabet into 24 books,The equivalent of the 24 rhapsodies of the Homeric epics. each typically a standalone tale on some planet akin to the television series Star Trek, which are summarised below.
This is followed by:
Comment on the finished translation (poem in Czech) Greek-English Glossary of unusual words Τὸ τοῦ ἔπους εὑρητήριον (Greek index)
Plot synopsis The work is an epic poem, comprising 6,576 verses of hexameter in Homeric Greek, with parallel translation into Czech hexameter. The postmodern science fiction story is inspired by the philosophical postulate of quantum physics, that for something to exist it must be observed. The cosmos-observing creature turns out to be a certain sheep. To kill the sheep would mean the end of everything. The cosmos-observing sheep is kidnapped by a villain called Mandys and pursued by a rapid reaction commando force, whose captain is called Oudeis (Οὐδείς, "Nobody"), following the example of Captain Nemo (Νήμω καπιτᾶνος), as well as the Odyssey's original hero, Odysseus, who went by the name Outis (Οὖτις, "Noman, Nobody"), to fool the Cyclops Polyphemus.
Book 1 – Proem. About the cosmos-observing sheep and about Mandys. The beginning of the Astronautilia. (214 lines) After the proem, Oudeis introduces himself and explains how the cosmos exists only because it is observed by the cosmos-observing sheep; he recounts how this sheep was discovered. If the sheep were to be killed, the cosmos would cease to exist. A guard was established for the sheep under Oudeis' charge. One of the guardians, Mandys, steals away the sheep in a spaceship and Oudeis, blamed for this, is tasked with travelling the cosmos with a crew to recover the sheep. He is given phasers, a universal translator called Franta (who resembles a skunk made of brain matter), a robot called Tonda skilled in electronics, a human doctor called Elephas, and a spaceship called Tolma.
Book 2 – About the Lesbians. (342 lines) Oudeis and his companions land on a planet and he sends out two men, who find a city of Lesbians. They torture the scouts to death and, discovering the spaceship, melodiously sing to the Oudeis' crew to lure them outside. They lead them to their city as prisoners to cage them. Two more men are tortured and night falls. The next day a crowd takes out another two, but a violent revolution breaks out among the women; one approaches the Queen and, pulling out a penis, rapes her. The other rebel women follow suit. They release Oudeis and his men, and the Queen asks who they are: Oudeis explains their mission and thanks the women for saving them – the Queen tells Oudeis to return the following evening for a banquet where their story will be explained. Sleeping in their ship, Oudeis and his companions return, and the Queen, Tethis, explains that they were tasked to destroy the Lesbians. They lived in secret amongst them and raised a generation of men to use in rebellion – they rejoice now to have succeeded and won their freedom. Oudeis and his men finish the feast and fly into the cosmos.
Book 3 – About the Bearers of Beaks. (271 lines) Oudeis and his companions land on a planet and are met by creatures with human bodies but crow heads, and who invite them to their city. It is poorly built, and they provide disgusting food and drink. One of the priests addresses their fellows, announcing that they must consult their Great Light (their sun), a speech Franta secretly translates. The Bearers of Beaks bring them to a hydraulic computer, where the priest declares they must kill Oudeis and his men because they are ungodly; they begin an attack, and Oudeis and crew try to defend themselves but becomes overwhelmed. A flock of winged creatures resembling the Beaked Ones flies down and saves the men, carrying them to their own city. Their king explains that the hydraulic device was designed to govern their lives, but, blocked with seaweed, it broke, demanding them do evil and split their society in two. Asked to make repairs, Oudeis sends his technician Burda, who does so. Oudeis and crew board the spaceship and fly into the cosmos.
Book 4 – About the zoophytes. (135 lines) Oudeis and his companions land on a planet inhabited by animals that resemble plants, and explains the chemical structure of their chlorophyll. Their planet seems peaceful, but one of the locals attacks and injures a crewmate. The men flee to their ship and begsto leave, but Oudeis with two others goes back out and discovers that short supply of water on the planet makes the creatures hostile. Oudeis digs a hole with his phaser to release large supplies of water, then boards his spaceship and flies into the cosmos.
Book 5 – About the Degenerates. (433 lines) Oudeis and his companions land on a planet with aliens resembling humans. They meet the king, Rx-Phrx-Prx, who gladly receives and sends them to bathe. Once Oudeis and his men have entered the pools, two doctors arrive and speak with Oudeis through Franta, saying Rx-Phrx-Prx sent them to check on their health. The men exit the pool to be examined; Franta secretly translates the doctors, who excitedly admire their physique. They tell the men to dress, who unnervingly discover their phasers are gone. The crew feasts with the Rx-Phrx-Prx: he tells them their civilisation was long ago mutated with nuclear radiation, and they need the crew to marry their daughters for their DNA. They are forcibly married, Oudeis wedding Grgla, Rx-Phrx-Prx's daughter. Oudeis takes her to their bedchambers, but Grgla's shucks her skin and reveals her monstrosity. In fear Oudeis strikes her – she calls for her father who imprisons Oudeis. The next morning two judges arrive and through Franta tell Oudeis he will be tried for his life in two hours. They leave, but using Franta's bioradiophone Oudeis orders the ship computer Caesar to dispatch the RoboCop Ivo in two hours. Once he has been taken to the courtroom, where Rx-Phrx-Prx, Grgla, and the companions are seated, Ivo bursts in and disintegrates the judge. Oudeis demands his phasers back, and announces he and his men will leave the planet, but will donate their sperm for future generations. Having done so, they board the spaceship and fly into the cosmos.
Book 6 – About the binary planet and remaining things. (380 lines) Oudeis and his companions arrive in a star system in which two planets are joined by a bar, resembling a dumbbell. They land on one of the planets and are attacked by bipedal dogs, who, about to destroy the ship, are attacked by a race of cats. As the men watch, the ground yields and the ship tips inside the planet, which is hollow. A friendly group of men wearing bagpipes on their backs move towards the ship, asking them to join them for a feast, meeting the King and eating in zero-gravity. The King explains that two races of men, having made peace, built the bar to unite the two worlds and set the dogs and cats against each other for entertainment, but they rebelled and drove them inside the planet. If they find peace, the men will be exterminated – a dog prophet, Au-Bau-Gau, is mediating one, and the king asks Oudeis to kill him. Oudeis sends Ivo. Their lifestyle is hedonistic and compared to twentieth-century hippies. Meanwhile, the dogs and cats have assembled, but before Ivo can shoot Au-Bau-Gau, the dogs call him a traitor and kill him – they fight cats. Oudeis recalls Ivo and receives treasure. He tries to get his men to leave the planet, but they refuse; once asleep, Oudeis slips them back onto the ship and leaves.
Book 7 – About the kosmobionts. Oudeis' aristeia. (247 lines) The men wake up in the middle of the cosmos and mutiny under the direction of the crewmate Kypta, steering the ship back to the planet. The ship is immobilised by a kosmobiont – a creature, Oudeis explains, that lives in the cosmos and feeds on each other. It bores its proboscis into the ship. The crew begs Oudeis for help; he sends out Ivo, but the creature strikes it into the cosmos. Oudeis sends out Kypta, but he is also cast into the cosmos. The crew then make Oudeis go out, who takes a jetpack, and struck out three times he dissolves the kosmobiont with his phaser on the fourth. He tells the crew to wait while he goes to recover Ivo and Kypta. Meanwhile, they vote to abandon him and steer away. Oudeis finds Ivo and Kypta and moves back to the ship, but, and finds it attacked by another kosmobiont that he kills. The men praise Oudeis, and reinstate him as admiral.
Book 8 – About the butterflies and Grogals and about the prophet. (300 lines) Oudeis and his companions find a star system with a tidally locked planet: along its narrow belt between the two hemispheres he lands. Life flourishes there, including a race of butterflies. They ask Oudeis why he has come, and he explains his mission. The butterflies tell him, should he help them first, they will help him track Mandys: they ask Oudeis to keep back the Grogals who attack the butterflies from the dark side of the world. Oudeis and crew meet the Grogals, who resemble the dog of Dulux commercials, but are bipedal and carry spears and bows. Oudeis repulses them with phasers. He has Burda and Tonda to build an organic wall demarcating the cold hemisphere of the planet. The butterflies rejoice and tell Oudeis that one of the planet's four moons contains a Grogal prophet buried in the ice who help Oudeis. Flying to the moon, the men dig him out of the ice and, attaching electrodes to his head, shock him awake. After some complaint, and Oudeis' request, the prophet tells Oudeis he will find Mandys and the sheep on dung and gold, but not until he has a time-cutter. He refuses to say any more, so Oudeis and crew board their ship and fly into the cosmos.
Book 9 – About the Tailed Women and Fake-Dogs. (378 lines)