Juliana's Pony: Total System Failure is an album by Juliana Hatfield's trio, Juliana's Pony, released on May 16, 2000. It was released the same day as Hatfield's solo album, Beautiful Creature.

Production The album was recorded as the trio of Hatfield, Zephan Courtney and Mikey Welsh, dubbed Juliana's Pony. Although inspired by Hatfield's months-long stay in Los Angeles, the album was made in Austin, Texas. The songs "Total System Failure" and "Leather Pants" use the same music with different lyrics. Welsh co-wrote four songs.

Release Juliana's Pony: Total System Failure was released on the same day as Hatfield's solo album, Beautiful Creature. A collectors' edition of both albums was also simultaneously released. It contained a third enhanced CD that included a Juliana Hatfield screensaver, a photo gallery consisting of six pictures, a web link to Hatfield's webpage at Zoë Records, a cover of the Police's "Every Breath You Take", "When You Loved Me" (Mex Mix) and an open letter from Hatfield to her fans. The letter read as follows:

Critical reception

Exclaim! wrote that "this is Hatfield at her funniest and most bitter, heaping bile on boy toys ('Houseboy'), All About Eve ladder-climbers ('My Protegee'), teenage girls in SUVs ('Road Wrath') and overly fertile families ('Breeders')." Trouser Press wrote: "It’s easily the weakest album in her career and sounds even worse when compared to the subtle path of Beautiful Creature, although there is something mortifyingly fascinating about the utterly disastrous tone in which Hatfield portrays her life and loves."

Scripp's Howard News Service's Mark Brown ranked both Juliana's Pony: Total System Failure and Beautiful Creature as #5 on his list of the top 10 albums of 2000. While it generally received less favorable reviews than Beautiful Creature, The Pitchs Scott Wilson, who didn't particularly like either, called it "ham-fisted and uncompelling, however, Beautiful Creature might be worse."

Track listing

Live versions of "My Protégée" and "Ten Foot Pole" also appear on Hatfield's live album The White Broken Line: Live Recordings.

Personnel Juliana Hatfield – guitar, vocals Zephan Courtney – drums Mikey Welsh – bass, backing vocals

Production Producer: Juliana Hatfield Engineer: Brian Brown Mastering: Brian Lee Photography: Juliana Hatfield, Mikey Welsh

References