This is a list of episodes of You Can't Do That on Television, a Canadian live-action variety sketch show that offers a subversive spin on specific topics as filtered through the lives of pre-teens and teenagers. The show was in production from 1979 to 1990. No episodes were produced in 1980 and 1988.
Episode list
Season 1 (1979)
These were hour-long episodes aired locally on Saturday mornings on CJOH-TV in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada and were a mixture of prerecorded comedy sketches and mostly live link scenes, along with phone-in contests, music videos, disco dancing contests, and interviews. These early episodes also sported great prize giveaways like a portable television set, a Panasonic radio, and vinyl albums. Until March 2013, only three episodes from this season were known to exist in their entirety. In March 2013, information and photos from the "missing" episodes were provided to www.ycdtotv.com, and in June 2013, the episodes themselves were uploaded to YouTube. They have since been removed.
No. Subject Air Date Cast Notes 1 Live! February 3, 1979Tim Douglas, Jim Johnson, Les Lye, Christine McGlade, Mike Patton, Lisa Ruddy, Kevin Schenk, Kevin Somers Repeated on March 24 when the pilot for Whatever Turns You On was being made. In the show's premiere episode, the kids explain and demonstrate how the show will be different from anything else seen on Canadian television before, including the CTV network series Kidstuff, which would be a frequent target for YCDTOTV during its first season (though it was only running in reruns by then). Contains the very first green slime scene. This episode was delayed one week because the link set was not ready. The only known copy of this episode cuts off abruptly during the final link, presumably less than a minute from the program's actual end. Tim Douglas, the victim of the show's first green sliming as well as a pie in the face, is established in this episode as the first season's premier object of ridicule. First episode for Tim Douglas, Jim Johnson, Les Lye, Christine McGlade, Mike Patton, Lisa Ruddy, Kevin Schenk and Kevin Somers. 2 A CJOH Shoestring Production (no official title) February 10, 1979 Marc Baillon, Tim Douglas, David Halpin, Rodney Helal, Jim Johnson, Cyndi Kennedy, Les Lye, Christine McGlade, Jim Stechyson First episode for Marc Baillon, the show's token Francophone kid. As such, it features a number of jokes skewering the double meaning of the word "frog" (as both the name of an amphibian and as a racist slur against French speakers). Tim tries to get a date with Cyndi, and not only fails but is further humiliated by being made to wear a pink evening gown. Elizabeth Mitchell was initially the host in this episode, but in the middle of taping, she developed laryngitis, and they gave most of her lines to Christine, who never relinquished hosting duties until she left the show in 1986. Thus, Liz's only speaking role in this episode is during the locker jokes. This episode also features the first opposite skit, contributed by a viewer in Quebec. During one of the disco dances, a crawl ran across the bottom of the screen that read: "You Can't Do That On Television" and the word television was misspelled. Music videos shown in this episode include Donna Summer's "Last Dance", Andy Gibb's "(Love Is) Thicker Than Water," and Billy Joel's "Say Goodbye to Hollywood." 3 Nickel and Dime February 17, 1979Jonothan Gebert, Brad Hampson, Ramona Helal, Jim Johnson, Les Lye, Deidre McIsaac, Mike Patton, Kevin Somers, Sarah WestThe first episode to feature water. Musical Performances include Tina Charles - "Hold Me", Kiss - "Love 'Em and Leave 'Em", and Kenny Loggins - "Easy Driver". The lockers for the locker joke sketches were not yet painted in the familiar YCDTOTV colours, but were still the original dark green colour. The only credited episode for Ramona Helal (Rodney's older sister), though she was featured as an extra in some other episodes. 4 Peanuts February 24, 1979Todd Brewer, Iain Fingler, Jonothan Gebert, Jim Johnson, Cyndi Kennedy, Les Lye, Robin Marpack, Christine McGlade, Kevin Schenk, Gordon SmithChristine is credited as "Christine-Moose-McGlade" during the closing credits, thus beginning her long running nickname. 5 Repeat March 3, 1979Tim Douglas, Jim Johnson, Les Lye, Christine McGlade, Elizabeth Mitchell, Mike Patton, Kevin Schenk, Sarah West, Bradfield WiltseFirst episode with painted lockers. Features two impromptu moments when Les is shoved into the pool by the kids at the swim race, and when Elizabeth receives her pie in the face, "for showing the most courage...and the least ability". 6 Ottawa Director March 10, 1979 Jonothan Gebert, Rodney Helal, Jim Johnson, Les Lye, Christine McGlade, Elizabeth Mitchell, Kevin Schenk, Kevin SomersFeatures the "Crazy" closing credits: "and thanks to all the Ottawa names not mentioned - it wasn't R. SOLE, we had technical problems". Christine reads the closing voice-over. 7 St. Patrick's Day March 17, 1979David Halpin, Jim Johnson, Cyndi Kennedy, Les Lye, Lisa Ruddy, Jim Stechyson, Bradfield Wiltse, Sarah WestUsually referred to by fans as the "Green Slime" show. "I Don't Know" triggers green slime for the first time, and the plot revolves around Lisa constantly getting tricked into saying the magic words. This episode was the first to include each member of the cast getting slimed, and also holds the record for the most slime in a single episode (with Lisa getting it 6 times). Sarah West appears only during the announcement of a phone-in competition in which the winner gets a dinner date with her (a redo of an earlier attempt which failed when the caller hung up before claiming the prize). 8 Backstage March 31, 1979 Marc Baillon, Jonothan Gebert, Rodney Helal, Jim Johnson, Les Lye, Christine McGlade, Elizabeth Mitchell, Kevin Schenk, Kevin SomersLocked out of the studio during the taping of "the network show," Christine is forced to host from backstage. Cameos by producers Roger Price & Bryn Matthews' daughter and son, respectively, who are both tricked into getting slimed and pied by Christine. Some segments from "the network show" (Whatever Turns You On) are played, and Christine interviews Ruth Buzzi. Hodgkins (the skeleton in the dungeon sketches) gets his name in this episode. 9 A Staff Privvy/Executive Washrooms Production (no official title) April 7, 1979 Ian Fingler, Les Lye, Christine McGlade, Mike Patton, Jim Stechyson, Sarah West, Jim JohnsonThe "network people" leave the link set in a shambles after a party, Mr. Dime finds himself in a bathroom without toilet paper after having eaten several bran muffins, and Christine and Sarah plot to pie and slime Mike while Jim and Mike plot to pie and slime Sarah, with all using poor Ian as the "guinea pig" for their plans. Sarah and Mike do eventually end up slimed, but not in the way anyone expected. This episode was inspired by when the locks at CJOH were randomly changed at one point. The scenes about Mr. Dime using money as toilet paper caused some level of controversy, with employees of CJOH-TV and parents who saw the show. Cartoonist Jim Unger appears to announce a contest related to one of his drawings. 10 Boring April 14, 1979Tim Douglas, Jim Johnson, Cyndi Kennedy, Les Lye, Deidre McIsaac, Lisa Ruddy, Kevin SomersTim faces various mishaps in the library, while Kevin tries once again to score a date with Cyndi. Deidre appears only in the library sketches as "Ms. McIsaac," the assistant librarian. The phone connection is lost during a contest segment and Les ad-libs fixing it (as Ross). This was the first episode in which shaving cream, rather than actual pies, was used for pie scenes. During the group pie scene at the end of the episode, Cyndi forgot to keep her mouth closed when she was hit, ended up swallowing a mouthful of shaving cream, and went home sick. 11 Straitjackets April 21, 1979Marc Baillon, Brad Hampson, Rodney Helal, Jim Johnson, Les Lye, Robin Marpack, Sarah WestThe entire cast are made to wear straitjackets for safety reasons. An on-screen title reads: "Sorry girls... but Kevin Somers will be on next week.", the first of the shows long running gag of "crazy credits". 12 Local Show April 28, 1979Jonothan Gebert, Jim Johnson, Les Lye, Christine McGlade, Elizabeth Mitchell, Kevin Schenk, Kevin SomersChristine shows outtakes from the filming of the Whatever Turns You On pilot, including footage of Elizabeth Mitchell being pied and Whatever Turns You On guest star Ruth Buzzi being pied and slimed during this episode. This episode was broadcast an hour later than usual, at 11:30 a.m., due to the airing of the Whatever Turns You On pilot in the usual YCDTOTV time slot; however, the cast did hold a phone-in competition for local viewers during a commercial break in the WTYO pilot. The cast make a big production of the week's Kidstuff rerun (which would normally have aired at 11:30) being pre-empted for this episode of YCDTOTV. 13 Sore Foot May 5, 1979Jonothan Gebert, Jim Johnson, Les Lye, Christine McGlade, Elizabeth Mitchell, Kevin Schenk, Kevin Somers, Sarah WestThe link segments were broadcast live from checkpoint 4 of the Meters for Millions walk. This is the only episode of the season with no slime, water or pie scenes. 14 End of the Line May 19, 1979Marc Baillon, Jim Johnson, Les Lye, Christine McGlade, Elizabeth Mitchell, Kevin Schenk, Kevin Somers, Sarah WestOn bootleg copies, there's footage from after the credits where Bryn Matthews (then president of CJOH and longtime executive producer of the series) is pied, and Roger Price himself is slimed for not knowing if the show will be back next year. Christine also shows footage of production assistant Jani Barry getting pied by surprise. This is the first episode in which cast members dumped slime on each other: Kevin Somers is slimed by Les (as Ross), and Christine and Kevin Somers are slimed by Elizabeth (marking the first time Christine was ever slimed). Meanwhile, the winners of the disco dance contest receive their prizes: color television sets, making Christine jealous. Music videos shown were: "Old School Yard" by Cat Stevens, "Whenever I Call You 'Friend'" by Kenny Loggins, and "I Love to Love" by Tina Charles.
Season 2 (1981, Canada); 1982 (United States) This season originally had the same format as the 1979 episodes (except that the disco dancing segments were replaced with video game contests). However, beginning with this season, each episode had a specific theme along with a "preempted show" intro. In addition, half-hour versions were made for national and international syndication. The "international" versions of these episodes composed the first season of the series to air on Nickelodeon, although slightly different versions were made to be shown in Canada. Many scenes (including slime, water and pie scenes) were also reshot for the syndicated versions to remove local Ottawa or specifically Canadian references; the reshot scenes are often easy to spot because the kids often sported longer hair. This seasons' first seven episodes were released on iTunes on December 17, 2012.https://itunes.apple.com/us/tv-season/you-cant-do-that-on-television/id583164073 At the end of the Smoking episode, McGlade gave a special acknowledgement to Lye, who never smoked in real life, for doing so much smoking during the episode. He greatly appreciated the acknowledgement, and also said he'd never smoke again. (He would be forced to, however, in filming the 1989 "Smoking" episode.)