Randy Phillips (born May 8, 1990) is an airman of the United States Air Force whose coming out in September 2011 following the repeal of the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy (DADT) garnered media attention. DADT had banned the service of openly gay members in the United States Armed Forces and Phillips used YouTube, under the alias "AreYouSuprised", to anonymously seek support and to document his life under the policy over several months. His videos included his coming out to his father and mother, which coincided with Phillips showing his face for the first time, and the accidental discovery of his anonymous web presence by his co-workers.
There was a wave of video postings when the military anti-homosexual policy ended, with many pointing to Phillips as their model or inspiration.New York Times: Austin Considine, "Coming Out to the World on the Web," October 14, 2011, accessed January 9, 2012 The timing of his revelations to his family at the end of the military's restrictions on service by homosexuals made him, in one journalist's estimation, "the poster boy for the DADT repeal."Huffington Post: "Randy Phillips, Gay Airman, Comes Out To Mom On YouTube," September 29, 2011, accessed January 9, 2012 Another wrote: "Phillips has masterfully used social media and good timing to place himself at the centre of a civil rights success story."Guelph Mercury: Graeme Gerrard, "Archie Comics' storyline has nothing on Randy Phillips," September 29, 2011, accessed January 9, 2012
Background Born Steven Randy Phillips in Eclectic, Alabama, on May 8, 1990, Phillips graduated from Elmore County High School in May 2008. His high school sports were baseball and wrestling.Bay Area Reporter: Roger Brigham, "Airman who came out on YouTube is ready to ride," February 16, 2012, accessed February 26, 2012 He began a six-year enlistment in the U.S. Air Force on March 17, 2009. At the time, the U.S. military permitted homosexuals to serve in its ranks under its "Don't ask, don't tell" policy established in 1993, which limited service by homosexuals to those who did not reveal their sexual orientation. A statute repealing the DADT policy was enacted in December 2010, with the change in policy delayed until military and government officials certified that plans were in place for its smooth implementation.Stars and Stripes: Leo Shane III, "After historic vote, focus shifts to implementing plan to let gays serve openly," December 19, 2010, accessed January 11, 2012 The date when homosexuals could serve openly in the military remained uncertain and Congressional efforts to prevent the change in policy from going into effect continued during the spring of 2011.Stars and Stripes: "House panel votes to delay repeal of 'don't ask, don't tell'," May 12, 2011, accessed January 11, 2012; Stars and Stripes: Leo Shane III, "Lawmakers want Obama to halt DADT repeal," June 16, 2011, accessed January 11, 2012
Social media campaign While deployed in Southwest Asia in April 2011, Phillips, a senior airman since March 15, became determined to reveal his homosexuality. To seek support, he launched a social media campaign by posting videos on YouTube and messages on Twitter, under the anonymous heading "AreYouSuprised." He described himself as a "military member in the closet, using social media to build up the courage to come out to family, my girlfriend, friends and coworkers."ABC News: Elizabeth Kreutz, "Before DADT Repeal, Gay Soldier Comes Out on YouTube," September 20, 2011, accessed January 9, 2012 The Twitter account identified him as "Just an average GI, who happens to be gay."Salon: Mary Elizabeth Williams, "The coming-out story that gripped the world," September 30, 2011, accessed January 9, 2012 In a series of thirteen videos posted over the next five months,MSNBC: Helen A.S. Popkin, "Gay soldier comes out to Dad live on YouTube," September 20, 2011, accessed January 9, 2012. Popkin counts sixteen videos, but only thirteen included Phillips, while three others recorded music performances. he asked the public for advice and encouragement. The motivation behind his social media campaign was to build support to help in his coming out, he himself describing it as "selfish". Another motivation was to share his experience so that other closeted homosexuals could learn from it.
In his YouTube and Twitter postings, he revealed only general details about his identity and filmed himself so that only his headless torso could be seen. He gave varying estimates of the time he thought it would take to complete his disclosure process, at one point announcing his determination to come out to his family by the end of 2012.
Southwest Asia postings In his initial video posted from an undisclosed location in Southwest AsiaU.S. military personnel are sometimes forbidden to reveal their location when deployed. For example, see Sun-Times: , accessed January 13, 2012; Wired: Noah Schachtman, "Air Force Cargo Crew Delivers, Afghan War Continues," August 19, 2009, accessed January 13, 2012 on April 18, he said it "may take a year or so for this to finally get over with", described himself as "one hundred percent closeted" and said: "The whole point of this video is to come out. That's even hard to say."Fox Twin Cities: Karen Scullin, "US Soldier Randy Phillips Comes Out to Dad in Emotional YouTube Video," September 21, 2011, accessed January 9, 2012 Though always saying he knew he was "different" when he was still in elementary school, "really young," he described his long-held belief that his homosexual inclinations represented a phase, a view he held when he joined the Air Force. When posted to Europe in 2010, he discovered that homosexuality in Germany was "completely different than America...more accepted" and that changed his view of himself: "when you see things...and you kinda see where you fit into society." He struggled to describe his self-acceptance, noting that choosing to be heterosexual would be "easier all the way around" while homosexuality meant "going against the grain." He noted negative attitudes toward homosexuality in the area where he grew up and in the military, but ended his account: "It's not a choice. It's the way I was born and it's a big stumbling block." His concerns focused on his parents' reaction: "I wish this wasn't something that wasn't expected of me. I wish I went along with what my parents planned for me, and what they thought I would develop into, and it's not."Washington Post: "Ed O'Keefe, "Don't ask, don't tell: Who is Randy Phillips?," September 21, 2011, accessed January 9, 2012
Phillips used secluded locations for several of the videos he posted from Southwest Asia, including a bunker and the inside of a bus. He taped others outdoors and kept looking left and right to make sure no one else was coming within earshot.
Discussing the repeal of DADT in the context of the American civil rights movement, Phillips said repeal of DADT was "a huge move in American civil rights and...there have been bigger things like abolishing slavery, giving women the right to vote, getting rid of segregation, and those have all been great, but this is huge for our generation." He reported another closeted airman's fear of disclosing his sexual orientation, and recounted his own repeated failures to follow through on self-imposed deadlines to come out to a friend. He discussed his YouTube postings with another closeted serviceman, though in his later remarks Phillips never counted their shared knowledge of each other's homosexuality as part of his coming out in the military. Prompted by that serviceman's questions, he allowed that his use of social media might represent a "subconscious" attempt to allow others to discover his sexuality on their own and spare him the decision to come out.
Phillips turned twenty-one early in May and on May 25, he posted a video report on the training session he attended about the repeal of DADT, writing in a Twitter message: "Don't Ask, Don't Tell training was this morning. It was a great presentation that nobody listened to."
On June 5, he reported via video that he had come out to a member of the military in late May. After reacting disrespectfully to the casual use of the word "faggot" in his work group, he apologized the next day in private to his immediate supervisor in the Air Force and told him that he was gay. Later he wrote on Twitter: "It has been kinda awkward since I told my boss, but he has only called me faggot about twice since." On July 7 he came out to a friend and fellow airman who reacted positively. Phillips posted a video of the conversation immediately, though he did not tell the friend his response was publicly available on YouTube for another month.Stars and Stripes: Geoff Ziezulewicz, "'Dad, I'm gay. Do you still love me?'," September 21, 2011 , accessed January 9, 2012
On July 22, 2011, U.S. military and government officials set the start of the new policy allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly for September 20.New York Times: Elisabeth Bumiller, "Obama Ends 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Policy," July 22, 2011, accessed January 10, 2012 When Phillips discussed the announcement in a video, he was still worrying about coming out to a co-worker who, unaware of Phillips' homosexuality, said he did not "work well with gay people.".
On August 12, Phillips posted three videos of a band that visited his deployment and performed for a small group of military service members. These videos received more than 17,000 views overnight, a level of activity far in excess of the several hundred views Phillips' postings were attracting. When Phillips' co-workers discovered the music performances on a YouTube site dedicated to DADT and a serviceman's coming out process, he left the room while they watched his anonymous postings. He returned to general applause and congratulations. He later reported: "A lot of people were OK with it. A lot of people were more than OK with it." He also reported that he had come out to his girlfriend in Alabama, wanted to "play by the book and respect those rules" as long as DADT remained in effect, and promised to show his face "When I get comfortable."
Germany postings As the end of DADT neared, Phillips and his unit returned from Southwest Asia to their posting at Ramstein Air Base in Germany. He anticipated that the day following the end of DADT would not be unusual: "I'm not going to have a parade...It's going to be like another day." On September 14 he posted a video contribution to the It Gets Better Project and, still hiding his face, said he had been "very happy lately." On September 18, Phillips attended the annual Gay Festival day at Munich's Oktoberfest, part of a U.S. military contingent organized by two organizations of gay and lesbian servicemembers, OutServe and the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network.Feast of Fun: "Randy Phillips Comes Out to the World" (Interview with Randy Phillips), January 17, 2012, accessed January 27, 2012; SLDN: "OutServe Germany & SLDN Celebrate Repeal Day," , accessed January 27, 2012. On gay participation in Oktoberfest see The Guardian: Kate Connolly, "Gay times at Munich's Oktoberfest," September 22, 2011, accessed January 27, 2012
On the evening of September 19, when it was already early morning of September 20 in Germany, Phillips telephoned his father in Alabama, whom he had not seen for a year. After a few minutes, Phillips said: "Dad, I'm gay. I always have been. I've known for...forever." Phillips then asked his father "Will you still love me?" and his father replied: "I still love you, son. Yes, I still love you."NBC News: "Soldier tells dad he's gay on YouTube," September 20, 2011, accessed January 12, 2012 He posted a video showing his side of the conversation as well as his father's voice minutes later, with the caption: "I called my dad to tell him the hardest thing that gay guys will ever have to say."