This Sporting Life was a satirical sports show on the Australian youth radio station Triple J, which ran from 1986 to 2008. It was created and hosted by comedians John Doyle and Greig Pickhaver as their characters Roy and HG — 'Rampaging' Roy Slaven, the retired sportsman turned commentator, and HG Nelson, the show's announcer.

Broadcast for 22 years, This Sporting Life remains the longest-running show in Triple J history, and garnered a dedicated national audience throughout its run. From 1993 to 1994, the show was adapted to television on ABC TV.

This Sporting Life was added to the National Film and Sound Archive's Sounds of Australia registry in 2013. A 30th anniversary compilation album of the show released in 2016 won the ARIA Award for Best Comedy Release in 2016.

Format This Sporting Life was a parody of sporting panel shows, although the duo cast a wide comedic net that encompassed entertainment, politics, celebrity and contemporary Australian culture in general. It was modelled to some extent on the popular 1980s Melbourne radio sport comedy panel show Punter to Punter, which also featured Greig Pickhaver (who plays HG Nelson) as a panel member and which was primarily concerned with the world of horse and greyhound racing.

This Sporting Life was substantially improvised. Doyle and Pickhaver would meet on the morning of the broadcast to discuss the week's events and agree on a general list of topics, but almost all of their discussions were made up live.

History

Early years Doyle and Pickhaver launched their Roy and HG persona on Australian public service youth radio station Triple J. They originally presented sporting editorials on the Breakfast show once a week.

After they commentated the 1986 NRL Grand Final live on Triple J, they were offered their own program, titled This Sporting Life. It was originally broadcast for four hours on Saturday afternoons, before being shuffled to three hours on Sundays.

Although the show was not an instant hit—some Triple J listeners at first mistook it for a real sport show—it soon found a loyal audience in Sydney, and this grew into a substantial nationwide following in the 1990s as Triple J expanded to become a national network.

Departure from Triple J On 3 December 2008, Triple J announced that Roy and HG would be leaving the ABC after 22 years on air, and This Sporting Life would be discontinued. Doyle reflected on when he knew it was the right time to depart:"Look, it was just getting a little bit silly ... Here we were on the youth network and I look at this grey-haired fellow shaving of a morning and think, maybe not."In a press statement, Triple J manager Linda Bracken said: "They are more than a radio programme, they have become their own radio comedy genre. It's been a joy and a privilege to work with them."

Roy and HG began broadcasting on Triple M on 12 January 2009 with a show called The Life, presented during drive time at 4pm to 7pm every Monday and Friday nationally, excluding Adelaide.

Segments

Sketches and guests

Aside from their improvised commentary, over the years, This Sporting Life included numerous scripted, pre-recorded segments, such as the topical satire commentaries "The Nelson Report" and "Date's Up, With Roy Slaven".

There was also a series of regular live feature segments; one of the earliest of these was "Tips from the Other Side", in which Nelson would list predictions for forthcoming sporting fixtures which had been provided by contacting the spirits of deceased celebrities. According to Nelson, many of these tips were provided thanks to the spirit of the late British "psychic" Doris Stokes, who acted as an intermediary. During one of these segments it was revealed that the spirits of the Russian Royal Family were avid fans of rugby league. For several years in the late 1980s the show also featured a weekly satirical roundup of entertainment at local Sydney clubs.

Guests appeared on the program in the early days, such as comedian Angela Webber in the guise of "punk granny" Lillian Pascoe, but guest appearances were gradually eliminated as the years passed. However the duo maintained an enduring relationship with actor Robbie McGregor who, in the guise of "King Wally Otto in the Soundproof Booth", provided the introduction, links and a wide variety of parodic fake advertisements. Australian Big Brother host Gretel Killeen and actor-comedian Jonathan Biggins have also provided voice-overs for many fake ads, including the ongoing series of fictitious products and services provided by Nelson-Slaven Industries.

In the last few years of the series comedian Chris Taylor from the Chaser filled in for John Doyle, broadcasting alongside Nelson on the occasions when Doyle was absent due to "other media commitments".

Aside from the regular improvised discussions and fake ads, one of the show's most enduring features was the listener giveaway segment, "The Fat", two of which occurred per show ("the first Fat of the afternoon", typically open to women only, and "the second Fat of the afternoon", open to all comers). In these competitions, listeners were asked to phone in with the answer to a question sourced from one of that afternoon's wide-ranging and often fantastical discussions of sporting news and personalities, for example: "Who is known as the founding father of Russian rugby league"?

The South Coast News One of the show's most popular scripted segments was "The South Coast News", a parody news bulletin read by real-life journalist and TV presenter Paul Murphy. It ran for several years in the late 1980s and early 1990s and two volumes of scripts were later published in book form, with illustrations by cartoonist Bill Leak, who had an enduring relationship with the duo.

The basic conceit of the sketch was that the small New South Wales south coast town of Ulladulla was heavily populated by famous Australian sporting and show business identities, that many of these celebrities owned businesses in the area or worked in various official capacities in the town, and that all were regularly involved in hilarious and often ribald misadventures.

Prominent recurring characters included the town's mayor, renowned TV composer and conductor Tommy Tycho, former TV wrestler Mario Milano, owner of the Bluebird Cafe, and former NSW Premier Barrie Unsworth, owner of the disreputable 'Cardigan Club'. This fictional Ulladulla also boasted a colossal statue of long-distance swimmer Linda McGill ("The Big Linda", which stood astride the entrance to the boat harbour and featured a revolving restaurant in its head). All the streets were named after sporting or TV stars, and the local high school was named after rugby league player Barry Beath.

Advertising parodies Doyle and Pickhaver wrote dozens of parody advertisements for a vast range of imaginary products and services provided by Roy and Nelson's numerous fictional companies, most of which were gathered under the Nelson-Slaven Industries banner.

These included services such as the HG Nelson Butchery ("still doing things with meat other butchers only dream of"), Roy's Rectal Ring Balm (a rectal ointment), Happy Jack's Ta-taa Packs (a body bag), Angus Fraser Paints ("If you've got nothing to say the whole world can hear it"), as well as innumerable parody books, films and TV series. Other highlights included a long-running series of fake ads for Istengar, an esoteric branch of yoga that teaches practitioners how to create works of art from their own faeces. Another fake ad, satirising the Nine Network's The Footy Show, promotes Rex Mossop's Rugby League Finishing School, which offers training to footballers hoping to pursue a career in the media.

In later years, real-life sporting stars such as rugby league players Stan Jurd and Paul Sironen also recorded parodic voiceovers for the show promoting fictional bodies such as the National Rugby League Party, a fictitious political organisation. Another recurring voiceover character was Sydney car dealer Frosty Lahood (voiced by ABC NewsRadio sports reporter David Lord), whose famous "No root: no toot" deal offered customers their money back if the attractive new vehicle (usually a Daewoo Nubira or Hyundai Lantra) did not enable the buyer to "get a root" within 24 hours of purchase.

Humour and terms Much of Roy and HG's comedy was topical, poking fun at current sporting news, the foibles, ego trips and media gaffes of sporting, film and music stars, and the often risible phraseology used by sporting writers and commentators.

Their uniquely Australian form of linguistic comedy that often verges on the obscene, and they have coined many memorable terms, while others revive archaic expressions from their youth, and many have since entered Australian vernacular. This includes:

"bed flute" or simply "flute"—the male sex organ "bugger-all to the power of less"—nothing "bush-junk"—useless native or introduced wild animals, suitable only for shooting "date"—anus "dwahl"—a slump in sporting form or a period of poor performance "football head"—the Zen-like focus or mindset required to play a good game of footy; underperforming players are often described as not having their football head on "half dream room, the"—an unconscious state, usually derived from a concussion; Nelson often claimed certain players were at their best when playing concussed "horizontal folk dancing"—sexual intercourse "(Planet) Koozbane"—a perennial Nelson-ism applied to sportspersons who have been stunned by a heavy blow, fall or tackle. The term is believed to derive from the name of the home planet of the alien puppet characters featured on The Muppet Show and Sesame Street "love-tap"—a blow inflicted on another player (usually during League or ARL games) without the intention of inflicting serious harm "night-tools"—genital organs "night-tool work"—sexual intercourse "room of mirrors, the"—a metaphorical mirror-lined room to which players are (or should be) banished for a period of time, in order to renew their motivation by "taking a long, hard look at themselves" "set of seven"—one week, in reference to the expression "set of six" (tackles) from Rugby league "sloop"—penis; the organ is said to be "pointing north" when erect "stink"—a fight "Sweet Science, The"—boxing "yips, the"—a grave condition that adversely affects the performance of professional golfers

The duo are well known for their lengthy, hyperbolic dissertations on the characters of sporting and cultural identities. Slaven is renowned for his long-winded and colourful demolition of almost every conceivable aspect of the personality and performance of a sports star with whom he is displeased.

He will often describe the subject as "a hopeless joke", and declare that they are a fool to him/herself and to his/her family, state and country of origin; this climactic phase of his analysis is usually delivered at the top of his voice. Yet, paradoxically, Slaven almost invariably concludes these harangues with quiet, amiable remarks on what a nice person the subject is, how much he likes them, and how much he or she has contributed to their particular field of endeavour. This can also be reversed such as when commentating the first Melbourne Grand Prix he praised the track as "the best in the world... superior to Monza, Spa and Hockenheim" which were all "rubbish". When there was a big crash on the first corner he claimed the track was to blame because it was "a joke".