"She said, 'Don't make others suffer for your personal hatred.", also known by the Japanese title is the twelfth episode of the Japanese anime television series Neon Genesis Evangelion, which was created by animation studio Gainax. The episode was first broadcast on TV Tokyo on December 20, 1995. It was written by Hideaki Anno and Akio Satsukawa and directed by Hiroyuki Ishido. The series is set fifteen years after a worldwide cataclysm known as Second Impact and is mostly set in the futuristic city of Tokyo-3. The series' protagonist is Shinji Ikari, a teenage boy who is recruited by his father Gendo to the special military organization Nerv to pilot a biomechanical mecha named Evangelion into combat with beings called Angels. During the episode, Nerv's Major Misato Katsuragi recalls her past as a survivor of the Second Impact, while a new, large-sized Angel called Sahaquiel threatens to destroy the entire Nerv headquarters.
At the beginning of the production, the main enemy was supposed to be an Angel called Turel. The episode, part of the series' action arc, blends comedy and action together and is markedly positive in its portrayal of the characters' relationships, particularly those between protagonist Shinji and Misato, and Shinji and his father Gendo. "She said, 'Don't make others suffer for your personal hatred echoes Hideaki Anno's typical themes, presenting through the character of Misato an optimistic view of human endeavour at the expense of fatalism and determinism. The installment also features several religious references, including the Christian concept of original sin and the biblical story of Sodom and Gomorrah.
"She said, 'Don't make others suffer for your personal hatred drew a 7.4% audience share on Japanese television. It received a generally positive reception. Some reviewers criticised the banality of the plot and the brevity of the battle against Sahaquiel, while other critics praised the action, the optimism, and the focus on the personal interrelationships between the main characters.
Plot Misato Katsuragi, head of the strategic department of the special agency Nerv, recalls a trauma she experienced when she was fourteen years old. A giant of light woke up at the South Pole during an experiment, causing the melting of the southern ice cap and the death of her father, Dr. Katsuragi; despite being at the South Pole at the time of the incident, known as Second Impact, Misato managed to escape the disaster and survive. After the flashback, Misato is promoted in rank, and grudgingly celebrates her promotion with her subordinates, Evangelion mecha pilots Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Soryu.
Sahaquiel, the tenth specimen of a race of mankind's antagonists called Angels, makes its appearance in satellite orbit. The enemy is much larger than the Evangelion units, and the Nerv believes its attack strategy is to crash-land using its own body as a bomb. Shinji, Asuka, and fellow pilot Rei Ayanami, aboard their respective Evangelions, intercept the enemy, and by joining forces they succeed in defeating it against all of Nerv's probabilistic predictions, with Asuka delivering the final blow. At the end of the confrontation, Nerv's Commander Gendo Ikari, who had remained at the South Pole on a mysterious expedition until then, congratulates his son Shinji. Shinji, thinking back to his father's unexpected words of praise, realises that this is why he boards the Evangelion and has decided to become a pilot.
Production
Akio Satsukawa and Neon Genesis Evangelion director Hideaki Anno wrote the script for "She said, 'Don't make others suffer for your personal hatred., while Masayuki handled the storyboards. Hiroyuki Ishido served as director for the installment. Satoshi Shiteta worked as a chief animator, while Mitsumu Wogi served as assistant character designer. The production also involved other companies, including Studio Ye Seong, Vega Entertainment, and Studio Deen. Megumi Hayashibara, Yūko Miyamura, Miki Nagasawa, and Junko Iwao, voice actresses of several main characters in the series, played audible announcers in various sequences of "She said, 'Don't make others suffer for your personal hatred. Hayashibara also voiced a DJ speaker audible in the background in the scene where Shinji and Misato argue in the car. In addition to the original soundtrack, composed by Shirō Sagisu, the staff used the song "Bay side love story" by Masami Okui during the installment. Yōko Takahashi, who had already sung the opening theme song, also sang a 4beat version of "Fly Me to the Moon" used as the episode's closing theme song. In late home video editions of the series, the staff replaced the 4beat version with a new cover named "Misato Main".
In 1993, Gainax published a presentation document for Neon Genesis Evangelion entitled , containing the initial synopsis for the twelfth episode. The Proposal document was then published in 1994. In the Proposal, the installment was supposed to be entitled . The Angel initially envisaged as the enemy of the episode was not to be Sahaquiel, but an Angel named Turel, "the rock of God". Writer Virginie Nebbia compared Turel's design, similar to a giant floating head, with the Emperor Neo mask from Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water. Sahaquiel was initially supposed to look like a thin string instead, similar to Armisael, in order to show the audience that the Evangelion enemies can also be non-anthropomorphic. Series director Hideaki Anno eventually worked on Armisael's design, which, unlike the Ultraman-like designs of the other Angels, resembles the actual Biblical Angels. According to Anno, the series scenario originally included an "origami Angel" with a shape similar to the Möbius strip. Animator Mitsuo Iso proposed removing Turel, the "bomb Angel", inserting an Angel capable of disassembling himself instead. In Iso's proposals, Kaji would have used a ceramic fighter against the Angel. The idea was put forward that the Angels were gradually learning from battles against humans; Turel's suicide bomb attack would have benefited the following Angel. His notes also contain the phrase: "I'd like to see something like this Aum by Sadamoto". Furthermore, Gainax originally planned for Adam to have two wings rather than the four seen in the final version.
Gualtiero Cannarsi, editor of the first Italian adaptation of the series, noted how the opening scene of Misato's flashback is almost entirely drawn with a sepia effect, except for the red elements; this choice emphasises the blood, accentuating the drama of the scene. Academic William Routt also noted how Neon Genesis Evangelion frequently uses still frames with no movement, especially in the twelfth episode. According to Routt, while still images are primarily used in Neon Genesis Evangelion and other anime for economic reasons and financial constraints, stillness is "not unconnected to the underlying thematics of the series" and seems to be intended to underline or draw attention to significant moments. For example, Gendo is represented speaking with his hands folded in front of his mouth to represent a cold person who seems to know more and to command more than others. Still images are particularly used during the party scene for Shinji, as they are tied to the character's psychological motivation and "intuitively understood as cues to think or feel Shinji's reaction to what is being said". Still and limited animation images are also used in the flashback in which Shinji talks with Misato about her past. For Routt, still imagery functions as a basis for perceiving that "his relations with his father resemble what she is telling him about her relation with her father".
In the episode's original draft, Gainax planned to foreshadow Hikari Horaki's romantic feelings for her classmate Toji and the dialogue between Gendo and Fuyutsuki was slightly different. The scene in which Misato explains the strategy against Sahaquiel to Asuka and the other pilots was instead set in the park within Nerv's geofront, and the Evas were meant to exceed the speed of sound during the battle. Kaji was to speak with Misato while carrying a briefcase before departing on a flight, and in the final scene, following Sahaquiel's defeat, Shinji would have seen Asuka and Rei smiling at him on the Eva monitors. For the scene with Gendo and Fuyutsuki in Antarctica, in which a red sea full of salt columns is framed, the authors took up an idea already presented in the last episode of the series Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water, in which the series' main antagonist, Gargoyle, is turned into salt. According to the character designer of the series, Yoshiyuki Sadamoto, the post-apocalyptic scenario and the use of the Dead Sea Scrolls in Neon Genesis Evangelion are also a "side effect" of Nadia. The original scenario of the series also did not involve an explosion at the south pole, but a "Dead Sea evaporation accident". Even Misato's motto, uttered during the operation against Sahaquiel, "The value of a miracle only becomes real when it has happened", echoes similar phrases and themes presented in previous Gainax works, such as Nadia and Gunbuster. Before the fight Rei also says that she does not eat meat and orders a meat-free ramen; for Rei's characterisation Anno took inspiration from his personal experience as a long-time vegetarian, similarly to what he had already done with Nadia Arwol, the protagonist of The Secret of Blue Water.
Cultural references and themes Throughout the installment, Shinji's psychology is explored, as well as his relationship with Misato Katsuragi. Another theme is the depiction of Shinji and Misato's inner world and Shinji's doubts about the real reason why he decides to pilot the Eva-01. The episode is the culmination of the positivity and lightness of the action arc of the series, in which the narration focuses on humour and battles, while the relationships of the protagonists seem to reach the point of resolution and the story moves towards a happy ending. As noted by writer Alexandre Marine, "She said, "Don't make others suffer for your personal hatred." depicts a battle involving all three main Evangelion units, with the three pilots defeating an Angel together. This arc also contains typical shōnen elements, like cooperation and victory over enemies. Gendo, for example, portrayed in the early episodes as a cold and aloof father, congratulates Shinji and compliments him. Shinji realises after this event that he pilots the Eva-01 only to receive the approval of his parent, whose praise moves him to unexpected happiness and surprise him. According to scholar Satoshi Tsukamoto, Shinji starts to regain his self-esteem after this. As noted by Newtype magazine, Gendo's approval is a "double-edged sword" though. At the end of the episode, after hearing Shinji say that he pilots the Eva to earn his father's approval, Asuka calls him an idiot; the episode's original script noted that her line was to be delivered with a hint of tenderness. Writer Dennis Redmond has noted how Gendo's compliments are an "unusual moment" for Japanese culture, which "tends to recognise group achievement rather than individual merit". Gendo's praise gives Shinji a reason to pilot the Eva, a theme the series later reprises in the sixteenth episode, "Splitting of the Breast". Misato, on the other hand, shows great faith in man's possibilities in the course of the plot, renouncing fatalistic or deterministic attitudes, echoing Hideaki Anno's work typical themes.