This is a list of the characters and sketches on the Australian sketch show, The Wedge.
Season one
Lucy Webster skits Seasons 1 and 2 Lucy Webster (Rebel Wilson) - Lucy is an overweight, outcast schoolgirl who stalks a boy she likes (named 'Dylan'), and often talks about how she thinks he likes her, but it is implied he is disgusted by her. She also stares in to the screen at him watching her. (Although a possible plot inconsistency is the fact that she appears on the computer screen, which would in all probability be his, as she would not need to bring her own image up on the screen; and therefore his attempts to shake her off would seem to be in conflict with the fact he still actively engages in internet communication with her.) She briefly stopped stalking Dylan in order to stalk her school counsellor, Andrew, but has since returned to Dylan. She also does horrible things to Dylan's girlfriends saying-"Well, now that they're out of the way, we get back to our schedule"(A timetable Lucy had made for their dates and when they should make passionate love). On the second series she starts a website with the web address, LandofLucy.com.au where she gives advice to people on how to live life to its best. Dylan Mortlock - Dylan is the boy that is trying to avoid Lucy at all costs from stalking him. During the middle of the first season, Dylan informed the school counsellor about Lucy's stalking habits and got rid of her since she started stalking Andrew, but Lucy returned to him later in the season. Damien - Damien is Dylan's friend, who presumably is gay, he was told off by Lucy in the early stages of the first season and was sent to military school by his father. Damien was mentioned later in the season, going to the school dance. Miss Rogers - Miss Rogers was very briefly, Lucy's counsellor at school but she was in a car accident because her brakes failed and she is in a coma. Lucy thought that Miss Rodgers was stalking Dylan so that's why she cut her brakes. Andrew Hollis - Andrew is Lucy's school counsellor, whom she stalked throughout the middle of the first season. Andrew is later confirmed mental when, Lucy stalks him too much. Judith Hollis - Little information is known about Andrew's mother except that she was sent to prison. Gailan - Gailan was only shown in person for one episode in which he was supposedly Lucy's boyfriend from South Africa. Gailan teaches Lucy voodoo works so that she could rid of Melissa, who at that time was Dylan's girlfriend. Mellisa, Courtney and Maddison - Victims of Lucy's stalking antics.
Jack and Jill Farmer skits Season 1 and 2 Jack Farmer (Dailan Evans) - Jack is a farmer who owns a farm which is suffering from drought. He also has a son, who sometimes appears in the background. Jack and Jill's animals have died, they have lost $50 000 in crops, they have no phones, and possibly no electricity. Jack is constantly followed by flies, even on occasions when he leaves the farm and heads into the city. He frequently throws away chances of becoming rich by ignoring the "heavy metal" in his creek (actually gold) and throwing away wine that is "like 100 years old.". Despite his misfortune, Jack's mantra is "Could be worse" and is normally interrupted by the "f***ing flies". Jill Farmer (Marney McQueen) - Jill is Jack's wife and most worthy companion. She sometimes has to leave the farm and is sometimes a little inconsiderate of Jack, for example, using him as a horse and carriage. Ennis (Anthony Ahern) - Whenever Jill has to leave the farm, she is replaced by a (presumably homosexual) cowboy called Ennis (Anthony Ahern), a parody of Heath Ledger's character from Brokeback Mountain, leading to many homosexual double entendres, such as "Ennis is a big fan of my back paddock" and "Are we just going to leave our rods out?" (referring to fishing rods).
Note: Marney McQueen will not be returning. Therefore, the character, Jill Farmer isn't in the second season.
Mark Wary skits Seasons 1 and 2 Mark Wary (Jason Gann) - Mark a professional athlete who frequently gets into brawls, public sexual acts and other incidents both on and off the field. His sketches always depict him and his manager (Dailan Evans) holding a press conference in which Mark apologising to the public for his latest scandal. Wary has difficulty reading the apologies that his manager has written for him, resulting in him saying a similar-sounding but inappropriate word, such as "Indecent" instead of "Incident", and his manager is constantly having to correct him. In the second series, Mark retires after due consideration but is employed again with more mishaps after persuasion by his manager, Jerry. Mark Wary is a parody of Shane Warne and Wayne Carey, although neither are faced with the seemingly massive spelling problems Wary has.The Age Article: Off The Plan Mark's Manager, Jerry (Dailan Evans) - Jerry is Mark's manager from the company, Spotfires LMTD. He constantly has to deal with Mark's scandals and suffers himself in the first-season finale, after being shot by Mark on a fox hunting outing.
Lola the Lollipop Lady Skits Season 1 Lola the Lollipop Lady (Aidan Fennessy) - Lola has violent outbursts toward anybody who disobeys the road rules, such as a woman whose car slightly touched the crossing's boundary line, and a young man whose car stereo was too loud. Nicholas - Lola usually talks to Nicholas before she allows anybody to cross the crossing. Known details about Nicholas is that he has two mums.
Pokie Ladies skits Seasons 1 and 2 Sherine and Leanne (Kate Jenkinson, Rebel Wilson) - Sherine and Leanne are two women who are usually seen playing on the poker machines. Sherine often rubs Leanne's stomach for good luck, and their gambling is often interrupted by Sherine's "bloody kids", whom she left in the downstairs car park, calling her on her mobile phone and reporting a disaster which Sherine often ignores. "The bloody kids" - The bloody kids are Sherine's seven unfortunate children. They are trapped in her car in the car park while Sherine plays pokies. Their names are Tyson, Britney, Trent, Braydon, Taylor, Jaydon, Phoenix and Corri-Nakita. They often complain about the amount of food that they are given and their brothers and sisters often suffocate. Sherine's reward for them being good is a 'cup of ice from the bistro'. In the first half of the first season, Tyson escapes from the car and is never mentioned again.
Art Cooney skits Seasons 1 and 2 Art Cooney (Adam Zwar) - Art is a presumably hippie substitute teacher at Wedgedale High. Art always manages to steer the lesson away from the actual topic and onto his bitterness about his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend, Dwayne. He is also obsessed with being politically incorrect, but this only makes life miserable for the people involved, as Art makes a big deal out of their sexuality, domestic life, religion or ethnicity in front of the entire class. Dallas - Dallas is an Aboriginal student in Art's class, and on the first day of school, Art tries to endear himself to her. Mya - Mya is a Chinese student in Art's class, but on first day of school he mistakenly thinks she is a Native American. Parents - Some parents including two lesbians and a blind person are called to a parent/teacher interview with Art and are often insulted in the same way the students are insulted.
Henry Bumstead skits Season 1 Henry Bumstead (Adam Zwar) - Henry is a young man on the dole with delusions of grandeur. Instead of applying for jobs and working his way up, Henry wants to fast-track his way to the top, so he attempts to join the Sydney Swans Football Club, become the voice of Big Brother and take over the mantle of Australia's richest man. Daryl Somers - See Daryl Somers
'Fat' Mandi skits Seasons 1 and 2 Fat Mandi (Rebel Wilson) Mandi is an overweight English girl whose parents have sent her to Australia to appear on a reality TV show called "Fat Crackers", similar to The Biggest Loser. Instead of losing weight, she smuggles junk food into the camp to feed herself and the other contestants, in a parody of The Great Escape. On the second season, Mandi makes a comeback on her very own reality TV series. Mandi's Parents (Julie Eckersly), (Ross Daniels) - Both of Mandi's parents take life without Mandi very differently. Mandi's mum, is more concerned and worried for Mandi and decides to go to fat camp to check on Mandi, while her father couldn't care less by claiming that "when she comes around, everyone's squished against the wall". Peter Klink (Anthony Ahern) - Peter is the psychotic head trainer of Fat Crackers Fat Camp. He claims that he has sympathy for fat people but does not display that. Throughout Mandi's time at fight camp, he was very biased against her and unforgiving. Sir Richard (Dailan Evans) - Sir Richard is the founder of Fat Camp Australia, little is known about him except that he declared for no Fat Camp at the end of the season of Fat Crackers. Dr. Von Trouser Mussel (Julia Zemiro) - The doctor is the psychiatrist of Fat Crackers Fat Camp and she counsels Mandi during Fat Camp.
Karla Bangs School of Dance Xcellence skits Seasons 1 and 2 Karla Bangs (Rebel Wilson) - Karla is the principal and dance instructor at Karla Bangs' School of Dance Xcellence. She is incredibly harsh on her students and assistant, but fawns over an overweight, uncoordinated girl called Kiki. On the second season of The Wedge, she coaches Kiki on the television show, So You Think You Can Dance Wedgedale. Kiki (Rebel Wilson) - Kiki is Karla's favourite student and most prized possession. There have been rumours that Kiki may be Karla's illegitimate daughter. Kiki is rewarded the lead roles to the Funk FX Dance Spectacular from Karla even though her lack of talent is obvious, and the other students attending the dance school get jealous of her. Miss Nerida (Kate Jenkinson) - Miss Nerida used to be a student at Karla's dance school but since became Karla's personal assistant. She is compassionate for the other students at the dance school, she too thinks it isn't fair that Kiki gets all the lead roles for the Dance Spectacular. Nerida complains about the unfair treatment, and once said she had considered killing Karla but wouldn't, because Karla said that young ballerinas who go to prison become "the butch one's bitches" Brendan and Deerdrie (Dailan Evans, Marney McQueen) - Deerdrie is the old lady who makes the costumes from the dance spectacular, she often complains to Karla about the quantity of costumes she must make but sinks into the shadows when Karla reminds her that she has attorney over her husband's life support arrangements. Brendan is Karla's handyman and he is often told to fix chairs and fix the lights.
"Big" Mike Small skits Seasons 1 and 2 Big Mike Small (Adam Zwar) - Security guard, 'Big' Mike small patrols the Wedgedale Shopping Plaza with his 734 keys. He's often too busy eating donuts or picking up Kerry, the girl at the information desk, to apprehend thieves or people brawling in the supermarket. He is often careless with the keys, allowing a small child to steal them while he's lecturing them on shoplifting. In the second series of The Wedge, he is upgraded to a water policeman and becomes a nuisance while patrolling the waters as he ensures that everybody follows the strict water restrictions. Kerry (Kate Jenkinson) - Kerry is the girl that Mike has a crush on and usually picks up; she is annoyed with Mike but doesn't have the heart to say it. Oric (Anthony Ahern) - Oric is the detective at Wedgedale Plaza. When Mike reveals to Kerry he secretly had a crush on her, she is seen walking with Oric, suggesting that they are together. Rodger (Aidan Fennessy) - Rodger, unlike Oric and Kerry, is more compassionate, supportive and patient to Mike. He is the janitor of Wedgedale Plaza. It is implied that he is Scottish because he speaks with a Scottish accent.
Robbie Fowler skits Season 1