Laurence Michael Dillon (1 May 1915 – 15 May 1962) was a British doctor, author, poet, Buddhist monk and the first known transgender man to undergo a phalloplasty.
A former president of the Oxford University Women's Boat Club, Dillon began living as a man soon after his graduation in 1938. He pioneered female-to-male gender transitioning; he is the first trans man known to have taken testosterone exclusively for this purpose and in 1946 received the world's first phalloplasty from the plastic surgeon Harold Gillies. As a medical student, Dillon performed an orchiectomy on Roberta Cowell, the first British trans woman to receive vaginoplasty. He also wrote the 1946 book Self: A Study in Ethics and Endocrinology, an early text on transgender medicine.
After graduation, Dillon worked as a Merchant Navy doctor. His transition became the subject of public attention when it affected his listing as the heir presumptive for the baronetcy of Lismullen. Dillon, who by then had become interested in Buddhism, resigned from the Merchant Navy and moved to India to devote his life to becoming a Buddhist monk. He changed his name to Lobzang Jivaka, named after the Buddha's own doctor. In 1960, he became the first Westerner to be ordained in the Rizong Monastery in Ladakh. Between 1960–1962, he wrote four books on Buddhism, including Imji Getsul: An English Buddhist in a Tibetan Monastery which recounted his three months at Rizong. He also wrote an autobiography titled Out of the Ordinary: A Life of Gender and Spiritual Transitions, which was completed in 1962 and published posthumously in 2016. Dillon died in May 1962, just two weeks after finishing his autobiography.
Early life Dillon was born on 1 May 1915 in Ladbroke Gardens, Kensington. Assigned female at birth, he was the second child of Robert Arthur Dillon (1865–1925), a Royal Navy Lieutenant and heir to the baronetcy of Lismullen in Ireland. He was named after his mother, Laura Maude McCliver ( Reese) (1888–1915), who died of sepsis when Michael was less than two weeks old. Robert Dillon suffered from alcoholism and left the Navy to avoid being cashiered. He did not take up any subsequent profession and was unable to look after Michael and his older brother Robert 'Bobby' William Charlier Dillon. The two children were sent to be raised by their two paternal aunts in Folkestone, Kent. The children's aunts were strict with money despite their wealth, but still sought to separate themselves from people of lower classes.
Robert Dillon died in 1925, making his son Bobby the immediate heir to the baronetcy of Lismullen. Less than a month later, the baronet—Sir John Fox Dillon—also died, thereby passing the title onto Bobby, who at the time was eleven years old. With the title, Bobby inherited the family estate in County Meath. The estate had been burned down by Sinn Féin in 1922 and only the servants' quarters remained, but the building of a new house was arranged by Robert Dillon's widow. Michael spent his summer holidays at the estate, learning to fish and to shoot, until he was 14 years old.
Dillon was educated at Brampton Down Girls' School in Folkestone. He enjoyed learning about theology and spirituality, a passion he would retain throughout his life. He was brought up in the Church of England and had close relationships with the local vicars who helped him further his philosophical knowledge and practice. Dillon also enjoyed sports and masculine-oriented activities and wished to present himself in a more masculine way, such as asking for his hair to be cut in the same style as his brother's. Later in his life, he claimed that as a child and teenager he never thought of himself as a girl. He envied his brother for being able to attend an all-boys' school and did not like being excluded from boys' games and activities. He recalled an incident from his teenage years when a boy held open a gate for him and he realised for the first time that others perceived him as a woman, which jarred with how he felt internally. Dillon felt physically uncomfortable as a girl, recalling that he had tried to bind his breasts with a belt until a classmate found out and warned that it was dangerous.
Education at Oxford Dillon was encouraged by one of the local vicars to study theology at Oxford. In 1934, he enrolled in the Society of Oxford Home Students (now St Anne's College, Oxford). Dillon initially had ambitions of becoming a Deaconess post-graduation, but convinced the university that he should switch to Greats (also known as Classics) and secured further tutoring in the subject during the holidays.
Dillon struggled socially at university, but discovered a passion for rowing. He became the president of the Oxford University Women's Boat Club and fought for greater recognition of the women's sport, seeking to increase the parity between men's and women's rowing. At the time, women's rowing involved rowing downstream, unlike the men, and women wore clothing unsuitable for more strenuous action. The women's teams also did not race against each other but were timed individually.
Dillon successfully campaigned to change these practices so that women's rowing aligned more with the men's sport. As captain, he achieved blues—an award of sporting colours granted to athletes in Oxford University—in both 1935 and 1936. The rowing team went on tour to Amsterdam and Frankfurt in 1938. His advancement of the women's sport gained him press attention; his photo was featured in a Daily Mail article in November 1937 with the caption "How unlike a woman!".
Whilst at Oxford, Dillon continued to question his gender identity. Although he wondered whether he may be a lesbian, he continued to feel as if he were not a woman. This led him to present more masculine; he began smoking a pipe, riding a motorcycle and donned an Eton crop. He confided in a close male friend who helped him buy men's clothing and took him to boxing matches where women were not permitted.
Despite the difficulties of having to live as a woman whilst not feeling like one, there is evidence to suggest that Dillon remembered his time at Oxford fondly, later describing himself as an "Oxford man". He graduated in 1938 with a third—the lowest honours classification.
Bristol and initial gender transition
After graduation from Oxford, Dillon began working as a laboratory assistant in Stapleton, Bristol. The work, which involved dissection of brains, fostered his growing interest in the connection between the mind and the body. He volunteered for the Women's Auxiliary Air Force territorials when World War II began in 1939, but was told by the commandant that he did not seem to be suited to the work and was put off by the discovery that he would have to live in dormitories exclusively with women. He therefore returned to laboratory work.
At this time, Dillon heard about the work of Doctor George Foss who was experimenting with the recently synthesised hormone testosterone; initially intended to ease severe menstrual symptoms, the drug caused the female patients to experience masculinising side effects. Dillon approached Foss and asked to be prescribed the hormone for personal use. Foss was willing to help Dillon on the condition that he spoke to a psychiatrist first.
After this condition was fulfilled, Foss began to worry that he would be called up to fight in World War II and thus leave Dillon's treatment unfinished, so he provided Dillon with testosterone pills to try out on himself. Dillon therefore became the first recorded person to take testosterone exclusively for the purpose of gender affirmation.
Although Dillon had only confided in Foss and the psychiatrist about his desire to become a man, the psychiatrist betrayed his trust and told another doctor at Dillon's laboratory. Dillon felt forced to leave his job after more colleagues found out.
After leaving the laboratory, Dillon began volunteering for the First Aid Nursing Yeomanry, but left following a motorbike injury. Dillon moved from the outskirts of the city of Bristol into the centre. His desire to be a man and uncertainty on what profession to pursue restricted his job opportunities, and he ultimately found employment as a petrol pump attendant at a garage called College Motors.
Whilst at the garage, Dillon continued to self-administer testosterone. He faced frequent taunting from his colleagues who would inform customers about how Dillon was a woman who wanted to be a man. Over the four years he spent at the garage, Dillon's physical transition became more apparent and he was able to present more confidently as male. Eventually, his gender was accommodated by the garage staff and customers would immediately assume he was male.
It was whilst working at the garage that Dillon started using the name Michael. He volunteered to become the garage's firewatcher during heavy bombing of Bristol during the Second World War. Whilst working as a firewatcher, Dillon wrote his first book Self: A Study in Ethics and Endocrinology. Written from the perspective of a neutral third party, the book argues for greater empathy for patients who wish to change their sex and advocates for a patient-informed basis of treatment. The book does not reveal Dillon's own personal interest in the matter. It was later published in 1946. Despite the growing acceptance of his gender, Dillon later recounted that he did not enjoy his time at the garage, describing it as "The Darkest of Days".
Dillon suffered from hypoglycaemia and would sometimes end up in hospital after passing out. During one admission to Bristol Royal Infirmary in 1942, he received a double mastectomy from a sympathetic plastic surgeon. The surgeon encouraged Dillon to legally change his name and sex, and informed him of the work of renowned surgeon Sir Harold Gillies. Gillies was a surgeon who had become well-known partly for his pioneering surgeries on intersex patients and injured soldiers, some of which included reconstructing penises. Dillon contacted Gillies that same year, asking whether he could undergo a similar treatment.
Dillon officially changed his name to Laurence Michael Dillon in 1944. He was able to change his birth certificate with a medical certificate authorised by a doctor and his cousin as a family member.
Trinity College and surgeries
Dillon's research on hormones and sexuality, and his correspondence with Gillies, had fostered an interest in medicine. In 1945, after completing initial training at Bristol's Merchant Venturer's Technical College, he enrolled in the Medical School of Trinity College Dublin. Dillon was able to enrol under his new name thanks to assistance from a former Oxford tutor, who helped Dillon change the university records to show that he had studied at Brasenose College, which only accepted male students at the time.